War Zone
by IceCrystal2
Summary: Oliver is forced to give Slade exactly what he wants, the destruction of his life, or risk the life of the one he knows he can't live without. There was never any choice to make.
1. Battlefield

"Nothing's gonna save you now kid!" Slade yelled, pulling the arm around Felicity's neck tighter even as she struggled for air. "Time to face the music brother." The mad man continued to yell toward the sectioned off barrier, fully expecting Oliver to step from the masses. While the ground had finally stopped shaking from the perimeter of explosives the man had planted around the base of Queen Consolidated, Felicity couldn't tell as he did exactly that. Her eyes blurred with tears at the pressure to her wind pipe, but she could make out Oliver shaking off Officer Lance and Thea. He vaulted over the police barrier, jumping in a sort of pattern only he seemed to know.

"Well, remembered one thing I taught you at least." Slade laughed as Oliver safely made it past the war zone of explosives between the rest of the world and the two lone figures in front of the main doors. They heard another explosion behind them before they felt it, causing Oliver to bend to a knee to stay up right. Slade didn't seem concerned at all when there was an anxious groan of metal all around them.

"Let her go." Oliver growled, no hesitation as to his intentions, but it only served to make the mad man laugh as he found his feet once more. Oliver knew this was a scene from his worst nightmare, but if he let the fear sink in it would cost Felicity her life. Slade had obviously thought this out, and Oliver knew if Dig didn't get to Roy and Sara one of them was going to die here, and he hoped against everything he knew it wasn't Felicity.

"Oh, first let's smile for your adoring fan base kid. Look at the great Oliver Queen, the world's most convincing MURDER!" Slade screamed, yanking one of the swords from his back to hold it to the frightened woman's neck. While she coughed desperately, she could do nothing for the silent tears marring her face. Oliver moved his head a little to see the news camera's in his side vision, he could see several blinking red lights from the bomb collars around the men and women's necks but he couldn't find it in him to care when Felicity whimpered. He vaguely heard Thea calling his name morph into that of his mother's but he ignored them. Setting his shoulders, he knew Slade had won at least this round. That did not mean it didn't hurt to disclose to the world anything that had happened on the island, but staring at Felicity he was reminded of The Count. He could see her trying to shake her head, but his eyes softened in her direction. Tilting his head while holding her gaze for perhaps an eternity he found himself mouthing to words to her once more. 'There was no choice to make.' He saw the moment she realized what he was about to do and knew she was about to draw Slade's attention off of him, and he couldn't let that happen.

"I DIDN'T KILL SHADO! IVO PULLED THAT TRIGGER! I TOLD HIM TO KILL ME INSTEAD SLADE WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO TIED UP AND USELESS?" He screamed, his fists tightening as he dropped every pretense to the normal life he'd tried to lead…but this was Felicity. He'd promised to destroy everything in Oliver's life, and knew full well his own words would do just that. He couldn't afford to take his eyes off the man, but he could hear his mother and Thea calling his name almost desperately now, but he was oddly comforted by the addition of Walter's calling the distraught women.

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE HER! HOW COULD YOU CHOOSE SARA OVER SHADO?! YOU CHOOSE! WHAT DO YOU THINK SHADO THOUGHT KNEELING THERE?! 'CAUSE I BET SHE THOUGHT YOU'D SAVE HER! YOU LET HER DIE TO SAVE THAT BLONDE BITCH! YOU MURDERED HER!" Slade screamed, his blade slipping just a little from Felicity's throat in his distraction, but not enough for Oliver's comfort. It would never be enough.

"You think I didn't care for her?! Maybe I should have let Fires kill her, or Ivo's men?! Or did you forget I killed to save her?" Oliver felt a small trickle of blood slip around his fingers, desperately trying to keep himself from launching at the pair by digging his finger nails into his palms.

"Trust me kid, that's the only reason I left you alive after the Amazo. You betrayed me. We were brothers! You betrayed her when you chose to extend _her_ life and not Shado's and it's time to pay for your mistakes." Slade taunted, raising his sword the inch it had fallen to Oliver's slight uncontrollable moment of panic.

"And here I thought it was because I ended you. I should have taken your head off instead of just your eye! A mistake I won't make again." Oliver growled, shifting his weight not to lose his balance as yet another explosion, another failed attempt by the police to breach the traps, rocked the courtyard.

"Seems to me you must make a lot of them kid. I mean…" Slade taunted, a sinister smirk crossing his face as he dragged the blade's edge over Felicity's throat, drawing a shallow but easily bleeding cut across the surface.

"STOP! Your problem is with me! She has nothing to do with this Slade!"

"Love, such a motivator, wouldn't you say kid. Think you know how to pick them don't you." He sneered, "Suppose the biggest mistake you've made besides murdering Shado was giving me the Mirakuru because I made you a promise kid…and I intend to keep it." The man laughed as Felicity cried out in pain, his name slipping from her lips, shattering his heart beyond anything he had ever experienced. "First, let's finish ripping apart the life of one Oliver Queen shall we?!" Slade growled, throwing the sword against the woman's throat at the CEO without hesitation. He knew his family cried out for him, even thought he heard Lance yell his name, but the relief that surged into his gut as he caught the weapon's handle outweighed the terror at what the world was witnessing. Twisting the blade to a ready stance he couldn't let himself think about the fact he'd just destroyed everything he'd done since coming back. Every illusion, every normalcy he'd taken for granted would vanish if he made it out of this now. The world would think him a fraud, his company may not survive this, and worst of all his family would know he'd killed.

"Didn't see that coming did you Moira?" Slade laughed, looking over Oliver's glare as he pointed the sword toward the ground, his entire body ridged.

"Oliver…" Felicity's half sob drew his eyes for a minute as the man taunted him about the destruction of his life the simple act had achieved with all his careful planning. But it was Felicity's sorrow, and guilt filled eyes that held his attention more than the man's taunting. He tilted his head a little, trying his best to give her a reassuring smile, but he knew with a sense of finality his life was over. He managed a small upward tilt as she mouthed the words, 'I'm sorry'; her shoulder's shaking in more grief than fear.

"Let her go Slade. You've made your point." Oliver interpreted a monologue he didn't care to hear, trying to keep the agony out of his voice.

"Have I?" The man growled before Oliver's eyes widened, Felicity being shoved to the side…and into the arms of Anthony Ivo. He put a gun to her temple and he found himself closing his eyes the same split second Felicity did before taking a deep breath.

"You claim to love Shado and you saved that monster?! The Mirakuru messed you up worse than I thought." Oliver growled, anger surging in his limbs as Slade made his way calmly in his direction, the two beginning a long forgotten dance of circling each other. They'd done so too many times to count in the beginning, when Shado had been around to sit on the sideline and critique their fighting stances. The memory hit him out of nowhere and he desperately tried to clamp it down as the fire from the police's first attempts reflected in Slade's eyes. Oliver wasn't sure where the reflection started and where Slade began.

"His hand wasn't the only thing I took from him, and you bet he's learned the lesson you're about to." Slade pointed his finger in Oliver's direction, clutching his own sword before he swung it, aiming for Oliver's head without hesitation. Oliver dove to the ground, sliding between Slade's well balanced stance with a kick off the planter behind him. There was no doubt in Oliver's mind; this was to the death for him. Either he killed Slade or Slade injured him and made him watch as he killed Felicity. He didn't need to hear that was the man's plan as he kicked off the ground, meeting the man's sword, his strength reserved to be even with Oliver's. Oliver didn't have a chance, and he knew it, but that didn't mean he was going down without a fight. Shoving Slade off balance by rolling away from the locked embrace of metal he dragged the blade down the man's gear clad stomach, not hard enough for his liking.

"There were some things Shado didn't teach you." Oliver taunted before he even knew what he was doing as the two began to circle each other once more. He apologized to Shado in the back of his mind, but this was about surviving, something he couldn't do without Felicity. A conclusion he'd come to long ago but had never uttered a word about for this precise reason. He'd kept her at a distance, keeping her safe above all else, even if in the end it hadn't been enough. He wondered what had given him away to Slade, but he was not about to ask as the man charged him again. Oliver brought the sword in his grasp to meet it, grinding his teeth as he was pushed back several steps. He seemed to surprise Slade, a delighted and malicious smile taking root on the man's face when he attacked first after that. Bringing his sword down in rapid succession he channeled the very man's training hoping to lull him into an overly arrogant swing. When Slade changed up the speed of the back and forth, Oliver jumped back not quite missing the tip of the sword.

He felt the sting as the blade cut into his stomach, but it was not enough to distract the man that had spent years accumulating scar tissue. Slade over committed as Oliver had hoped, allowing him to swing for the man's neck as hard as he was able. The blade disappeared as red covered both men quickly, though Slade stepped backward a look of contemplation on his face before Oliver pressed his attack once more. He knew better than to think simply managing to cut open Slade's neck in any way would slow him down. Slade landed a punch to Oliver's neck then as he tired against his will several minutes after the back and forth began. Oliver went flying, an undisguisable cry of pain echoing in the air of sirens as his back molded into the concrete of yet another planter.

"Now we're even." Slade joked, even doing a bow in Oliver's direction as he struggled to get up. He heard the gun fire, covering his head on reflex more than anything as he remained on one knee. When the sounds of gun powder ceased he chanced a look up, scrambling to find his feet once more as Slade simply rolled his eyes at the battalion of police officers that had attempted to take him out. To their credit Oliver noted that Slade was at least bleeding even though his skin was healing before his eyes. Darting his head around before he even knew why, his heart raced with more than just the adrenaline of this altercation. He caught sight of what…who he had been looking for a moment before Slade picked him up by the back of his shoulders. He didn't have time to think about why Ivo had Felicity pulled behind a pillar, safe from the onslaught of bullets of the SCPD. Oliver cried out even though he tried to stifle it as he was thrown across the courtyard, skidding to a halt just before the explosive traps. Rolling onto his stomach he picked his head up to see Slade giving him an impatient tap of his foot.

"You know what I never got Slade?" He found himself asking, spitting blood from his mouth as he suspected he'd lost several teeth on that landing.

"What's that kid?" The demented figure lurking over him played along.

"How you thought even for a second that Shado would have looked twice at you if she'd lived." Oliver expected it this time when Slade picked him up as if a rag doll, but the skid of a landing was no less painful.

"She was kind…strong…and you…what are you? You've let the Mirakuru ruin everything you were. She'd have put you down, and I think that's what really gets you." Oliver continued to taunt him, using the man's anger to scramble out of the way of his blows, his actions getting sloppy, but Oliver knew it wouldn't last. He tried to take as many shallow breaths as possible, knowing he had at least three or four broken ribs already.

"Obviously I didn't torture you enough if you can still manage such an attitude!" Slade yelled, swinging his blade at Oliver, and despite his best effort he couldn't stop his arm from giving and the deep and agonizing slice to his shoulder. The scream was torn from his lips even though he didn't have enough air to breath.

"Pissing him off wasn't your best plan." A feminine voice called to his left before he saw Slade finally go flying as he had done. Sinking to his knees for a split second of indulgence he let out thanks in every language he knew, Sara in full Canary gear kneeling beside him. He let go of the pressure on his shoulder to grab Roy's forearm, his hood over the kids head. Roy hauled him to his feet, keeping himself angled toward where Slade was removing himself from the inside of a pillar to close to Felicity and Ivo for Oliver.

"Felicity." He simply acknowledged with a shake of his head before Sara dipped her head whispering barely above the rushing in his ears that they had it covered.

"Don't fight your own battles anymore kid? You've gone soft." Slade laughed, the three of them sinking into more even stances, prepared for the attack they knew would come.

"Let it loose." Oliver gritted through his teeth to Roy, knowing the kid wasn't ready for this even as he said it. Roy couldn't control his anger, or his strength when his adrenaline rushed, and they all knew it, but dire circumstances called for drastic measures. He and Sara weren't going to leave him to his own against their shared demon; he just hoped it would be enough. As Slade charged them, he gripped the blood slick handle of the man's blade before moving as one. Roy caught the man's elbow, while Oliver willed the pain out of his mind, blocking the man's sword with his own using both hands. Sara brought her staff over the back of the Deathstroke mask, cracking it in two.

All three missed the stealth Diggle employed as he edged a line between the battle and the explosives surrounding it. He hoped no one saw the zip line they'd used to cross the barrier, even though he knew it wouldn't matter. He wished he'd been able to come up with a better plan of getting Felicity out then just waiting it out in the Queen Consolidated building. Though, right now he was more focused on the one handed man almost seeming to stroke the muzzle of his gun over Felicity's temple. He was a little disappointed she hadn't freed herself while everyone was distracted, after all the time he'd spent training her, but he knew it was because she was watching Oliver. At least that was what he had assumed until he crept closer. He held his gun ready; creeping along the side of the building, grateful there was no one inside to give him away. It was difficult for him to hear over the sounds of the concrete being shattered by the jack hammers that were the Mirakuru boys out front, but he stopped a cold sense of unknown fear washing through his veins.

"You're lying. Why would you lie to me about that?" Ivo was saying his chin resting on Felicity's shoulder, his handless arm wrapped around her waist somewhere between restraint and ease. Diggle let out a small sigh of relief that she seemed to be mostly unharmed. He hadn't seen her since that morning, and while she had what looked like a few cuts and bruises, most notably the black tint of her elbow she seemed for the most part unharmed.

"I'm not lying. She's alive. I put her in a nursing home." A shaky exhale let him know she was at least aware of the gun against her head, even if he knew her eyes were following Oliver's every move.

"My brave Jenny." Ivo sighed, the voice of a broken man echoing back to Diggle even as he still crept closer. "I have to leave. This is the first chance in six years I've seen a light." Ivo cried, halting Diggle's next step, though he did level his gun with the back of the man's head, three feet between them.

"It's what you're good at." Felicity hissed achieving a level of anger he'd only ever heard in her 'loud voice' though barely above whisper.

"One day…my Itty Bitty 'City. One day I'll make it okay." Ivo sighed dropping his gun at the same time he dropped his arm. The gun clattered to the ground as a cry of pain, most likely Sara from the pitch, echoed. Diggle took his finger off the trigger as the man turned around, though his point blank aim was between the man's widened eyes.

"Let him go." Felicity said her voice breaking after they stood there in a tense standoff longer than Diggle's nerves could stand.

"Felicity…" Diggle questioned her in Oliver's favorite way of communicating as they both flinched at the sound of his voice not far from them, pain evident.

"Let him go Dig…please." Her voice broke again, but after a quick look between the teammates he lowered his gun. Ivo stumbled a few steps, but he must have seen the conflict on Diggle's face when he broke into a run not to give the man a chance to change his mind.

"Felicity, when he finds out…" Diggle turned his head back to the slightly shaking woman as she cradled her elbow to her body; Diggle now making out it was broken, missing the small device in her dangling hand. "Never mind, we have to get out of here, we can't get out the way we came but your office should…" He shook his head, pushing forward like only practice in these types of situations had taught him.

"No, he…Ivo…Anthony…whatever," Felicity threw her good arm up in frustration before taking what Diggle saw was a small gun from her dangling left hand. "…he says this will counter act the Mirakuru. Slade used him to find a way to replicate it, but he spent the time making a cure. You have to get this to Oliver." Felicity's calm and determined voice eased his worry, but Diggle put his hand just above her elbow, taking in the tear stains marring her face.

"We can't trust him Felicity, how do we know it's what he said it is? What if it makes him worse?!" Diggle cried, moving to grab her arm quickly pulling her into his chest as a blur of green went flying behind her. He tried to ignore her cry of pain as he pushed her between him and the concrete foundation pillar, but he couldn't help but hear it over the sounds of the shattering glass. It was a minute before either moved, looking at the shattered windows of the Queen Consolidated lobby. Roy charged back toward the courtyard as if he hadn't just dented the elevator after being thrown more than thirty feet without so much as glancing in their direction, anger radiating from every fiber of him.

"It can't get worse!" Felicity screamed over the sounds of another explosion, Diggle cradling her head into his chest, his body protecting her against the debris that pelted them. Asphalt burned into his shoulder, but he held on through it until he felt Felicity push him away. She didn't say anything when she met his eyes, adrenaline edging out the pain of what would most likely be severe burns to his back from what he suspected had been Ivo trying to get away. He looked long and hard into her eyes, but Felicity did not back down. She simply held the small gun up to his eye level between them, a needle connected to a strange blue liquid coming out the end. He credited the adrenaline heightening his senses enough to make out what seemed to be air bubbles moving around in the vial.

"You get to the highest floor you can and you hide. It better take Lance two days to find you." Diggle demanded, laying his hands on her shoulders. Felicity nodded, a few tears making their way down her face even though she'd thought she had no more. Diggle took the device from her hand before hugging her to him desperately.

"Be careful." She shook, speaking into his shoulder, both knowing this might be the last time they saw each other ever again.

"Don't go back to the Foundry, your apartment, anything. You leave everything and you run when you see a chance." Diggle ordered in her ear as he shook her just a little, trying not to crush her in his embrace. It was too long for his liking before she nodded, both of them stepping away. It was good advice if Slade killed the four of them, but neither one of them believed she'd be able to slip Slade. She knew where she would go, but at the same time as the thought raced through her mind she knew she'd never actually do it. Barry would protect her, his new found speed would most likely be able to run her away from the mad man, but she wouldn't put him in that position, not if…

"Save him Dig." She squeezed his upper arm, rising up to her tip toes before kissing his cheek. "And come back." She wiped the tears from her face; the salt water making her throat scream in protest as they dripped into what she knew would be her newest scar light as it may be.

"Go." Dig demanded, pushing her toward the now empty widow frame. She nodded, tripping on her heels. She steadied herself against the over turned reception desk before flinging open the stairwell door. She couldn't find it in her to look back. She knew if she did she'd never make it up the seven stair cases she did. Another explosion rocked the building, throwing Felicity off balance as she fell ungracefully to the landing between floors. The sobs raced from her lungs before she could stop them, her world continuing to crumple around her. Wrapping her good arm around herself she gave into the sorrow. Oliver's entire life had been blown to bits because she'd left her desk for coffee that morning without him. They'd all been on high alert since Slade's appearance at Oliver's home. None of them had been alone in two weeks. Where ever one of them was so was another. Sara had moved into her apartment of all things. She'd let her guard down…and for what. She knew she couldn't blame herself for this. She was one room away from Oliver when Slade knocked her unconscious. One room. She knew from late night conversations with her newest roommate what Slade was capable of, and she knew it was only a matter of time. Her mind played the comforting memory of Oliver holding her hand after The Count.

"Felicity, he had you and he was gonna hurt you. There was no choice to make." He'd mouthed those last words to her as he lit the match on his own existence. She tried to wipe away the tears, angry with herself for being the one to cost them all their lives. She wasn't like them, she'd known that the moment Sara joined their team, but they were her family…more family than Anthony Ivo at least. The father that had left her; only to reappear holding a gun to her head ironically. That was a situation she wasn't prepared to face right then. She wouldn't have believed him if he hadn't said it; "My Itty Bitty 'City". It was the one thing she remembered him saying to her as a young girl, the nickname lost in the recesses of time, like everyone she'd ever cared about.

No, that wasn't right. Diggle had never really left her. He was the big brother she'd always wanted. He found her funny instead of irritating, and he was always up for listening to her rant about Oliver. Oliver… Oliver hadn't left her. He'd had plenty of opportunities, and she'd expected it, really she had. But then a few weeks had turned into a few months. They'd found Walter, but she'd stayed and he hadn't left her. Sure he'd pulled away occasionally, when he dated Sara or fell back to Laurel for those brief weeks, but he'd never truly left her. He just couldn't, or didn't know how to be there for her when he was seeing someone, but in the end he never left. It was Oliver that reassured her whenever she needed it. She looked forward all day to getting into her chair at the Foundry just to feel his hand on her shoulder, or tell him about her day. She'd long ago realized she'd never be Oliver's girl-girl, just his _girl_, but when he was happy all she could do was stare at him and smile with him. She'd never loved anyone as much as she did Oliver, and in the end she wondered if that was what had gotten them all killed.

"Get up." Felicity found herself whispering to no one. "Get up Felicity. They didn't leave you and you are not going to do it to them. Get up and save Oliver." She growled at herself, using the handle of the seventh floor door to reach her shaking feet. She'd thrown open the door and made her way to the window overlooking the courtyard before she knew what she was doing, grabbing a miscellaneous tablet off the desk of what was probably her replacement's on the IT floor. She wiped again helplessly at the sting of her throat and the burn of her eyes, but she only grew angrier with herself for them. She made out Oliver only by the glint of the sun off the sword he still held. Sara was face down not four feet from him, but he didn't check on her and she feared the worst as he swung at Slade, both men covered in tones of red. Roy and the man were trading punches, but Diggle flashed in her vision before he was checking on Sara.

Not taking her eyes off the pair she hacked her way past the password on the device. When Sara raised her upper body off the concrete she finally looked down. She balanced the tablet between her left forearm and her ribcage, setting her arm at an angle she could live with before she set to figuring out what she could do…because there had to be something. It was three agonizingly long breaths before she found the frequency of the ring of death surrounding Queens Consolidated. She jerked as if to pump her fist in the air, but thought better of it the split second she twitched to do it. She disabled the inner ring of bombs behind the building, not being able to do anything about the land mines beside them. Those inconvenient devices having been placed only that morning she knew they were not a big threat if people were careful. She held onto the feeling of Oliver pressing her into the soft ground a split second at the thought of land mines before she focused. She kept one eye on the courtyard, waiting for her opening. It came in the form of Oliver sluggishly rolling away from a punch of Slade's fist. Slade stumbled, turning to fend off Roy, even though he took three steps back, and that was all she needed.

"Time Flies." Felicity whispered softly, remembering the last time she'd actually hurt someone, detonating the closest bomb to the man, uncertainly swimming in her gut before Slade was thrown straight into Roy. The two tumbled to the ground, out of her vision. Frustrated she rose to her tip toes trying to stare down, willing the window to move as her forehead laid on it. It only took her a minute before she knew what she had to do.

"I'm sorry." She whispered at the hunched over figures of Sara, Oliver, and Diggle, all seeming to support each other. Even though she knew she was only talking to two of them. It wasn't that she didn't care for Sara, but it was almost as if the woman was a distant cousin where Oliver and Diggle were her immediate family these days. Her friendship with Sara was easy, but it was not of the same caliber, even if she had taken a bullet for her, and would do so again. They had constantly tried to protect her from this, from the fighting…the killing, but there was no way she was staying there when the people she loved needed her. Kicking off her heels, Felicity set her jaw as she ran back to the stairs cradling the tablet close to her body. She tried to skirt the broken glass, but she winced as she cut up her feet pretty good by the time she made it to the courtyard. She stayed as close to the nearest pillar as she could and manage to see. They didn't notice her and she was hoping they wouldn't even though she knew better. Roy tossed Slade as Sara hit him over the head with her staff, the woman bleeding worse than Felicity thought several floors up.

Tearing her eyes from the slash down the woman's face, her mask hanging on by a thread, she detonated one of the bombs on the right side of them, sending Slade off balance with a cry of alarm. She ducked behind the pillar, her heart threatening to beat out of her chest as he looked around before Diggle landed a punch to the mad man's blood covered jaw. Diggle rolled away from the man before he could be grabbed, but Felicity didn't risk looking. It was several more long seconds and what felt like a hundred deep breaths before she looked around the pillar with as little of her body as she could manage. She snapped her neck back around, detonating another bomb behind Slade. Taking another deep breath at his call of fury she stepped around the concrete, mustering her courage. If she was going to do this, she needed to see, she couldn't hide.

That did not mean she put a glaring bulls-eye on her chest by stepping out in the open. Instead she crouched down behind a concrete planter, watching through the tulips she'd never given a second glance. Slade moved away from the edges of the ring he'd planted, an undertaking of two years on his part to accomplish. Felicity watched as Sara, Roy, Diggle, and Oliver stood together in a line, each hunched in one way or the other. She hoped they had made good use of the 'present' Ivo had slipped into her hand after Slade's attention had been directed elsewhere. She took a minute to look around as she heard another wave of gun fire erupt to her left. She covered her head, sinking as low as possible. She didn't dare move her hands from her head to cover her ears at the screams of pain from Slade's direction, but a glint of metal caught her eye. The needle was broken off, but the vial of 'antidote' as Ivo had called it, was empty. She hoped based on the fact it wasn't destroyed that the contents had been pumped into Slade. She hadn't seen Oliver latching onto the man's neck to inject him during her flight back down the stairs.

Oliver leaned on Diggle as he tried to get at least one last breath, the man seeming to be the least injured of their ragtag group. When another bomb went off behind Slade after the second round of SCPD fire Oliver nearly let himself fall forward. He looked up at Diggle as Roy held himself and Sara standing, the man's arm having nearly been torn off but now it rested around the assassin's shoulders.

"He dies here." Oliver forced himself standing, limping forward with the knife he'd grabbed from Slade's belt after they'd broken their swords together.

"Or everyone we care about dies." Sara grit her teeth to say more to Roy than the rest of them. Oliver nearly lost his nerve when a flash of light caught his attention, too bright to be a fires reflection in broken glass. He locked his eyes on Felicity's and the already thin blood in his veins froze. She simply held his eyes, a silent conversation taking place where he knew she couldn't do what they'd asked of her. She couldn't watch them die for her…and he didn't blame her, but he tore his eyes away from her before Slade caught on, another bomb detonating when the man had leaned backward, seeming to test what exactly was setting off the explosions.

"Sara, Dig go for his arms. Roy, give him something to aim at." He forced from his burning lungs, looking over the weary state of his team, reaching over Diggle to hand his knife to Sara.

"You have a plan?" Diggle scoffed wiping blood away off his lip as he did.

"I'm taking his head off, he's not healing as fast, but I don't see another way." Oliver growled with a renewed sense of malice, a second, or more like fourth wind settling into his aching limbs.

"I was thinking about proposing to Thea. You can't kill me now so I'd thought I'd say it." Roy laughed pitifully, and while he'd have been the disapproving older brother any other time, he laughed with Dig, grabbing his side with his one good arm.

"When we broke up, Ollie, I was relieved because I'm still in love with Nyssa even if I can't ever see her again." Sarah confessed softly.

"Well if we're going there, I forgave Dead Shot. I don't know when, or how, but I did. And I'm regretting not calling Lyla back this morning." Dig sighed; rubbing his upper arm as they stood there in another moment of silence, Slade occupied with explosions he couldn't get out of or see the source of by his cry of frustration.

"I'm in love with Felicity. But I don't think I have to tell you that." Oliver admitted quietly, the declaration having sat on his tongue for neigh on a year now it felt rushed and anticlimactic.

"Nah, man. You don't." Dig answered him, none of them flinching when the SCPD opened fire on Slade once again.

"It was nice knowing you." Sara chuckled before a coughing fit took her, Roy the only thing keeping her standing.

"That the best you got? Really?" The youngest member of their team managed a sadistic laugh, his eyes hidden behind Oliver's mask and, what Oliver promised himself he'd tell them was Shado's, hood.

"All for one and one for all?" Oliver tried, his eyes lingering where he'd seen Felicity, only able to see the top of her pony tail before Slade made his way toward them once more, though he was staggering as if drunk, an immense improvement.

"It was nice knowing you Oliver." Diggle got out before the four of them moved into action. Roy went straight for the obvious attack, punching Slade in the face. Receiving one himself before Sara latched onto his left arm, Diggle diving for his right. Roy was kicked away from them as Slade flailed, trying to twist the two of them off, but Oliver used every last ounce of energy he had to sink his feet into the man's hips. With a scream between pain, anguish, and deadly determination, Oliver wrapped his arms around Slade's head, twisting as he flung himself over the man's back. Slade shook off Sara; grabbing Oliver's nearly severed shoulder. He fought through the pain, clinging to Slade's throat bent over his other shoulder. He could hear Felicity, not knowing if she was screaming his name in real life or not he pulled with everything he had to give, screaming himself. He fell forward, getting gravity to help him as Roy restrained Slade's wayward hand. Sara gave a cry of pure hatred before sinking a knife into the exposed underside of Slade's throat. Years of practice the only think keeping her from spearing Oliver's arms in the same moment. Slade tried to release a cry of pain, but found his mouth filled with blood. He succeeded in making a gurgling sound that sounded vaguely like, 'kid' before Oliver pushed off the pads of his feet, snapping the man's neck as Sara twisted the blade through every muscle she could find, cutting into Oliver's arms though neither of them cared.

Oliver collapsed, Slade's lifeless form falling on top of him as Roy and Diggle let go, falling backward themselves. Sara twisted the knife one last time before she was satisfied Slade Wilson was no more, and would stay that way this time. She fell sideways into Roy before Felicity fell to her knees beside Diggle and tried to shove Slade off of Oliver. Roy managed to grab the dead man's arm before falling back once more. It was enough for Felicity, who darted forward to pull Oliver's unconscious weight to her. Blood smeared her gray dress, but she hardly cared as she tried to cradle his head into her lap. Looking up only a split second, the only one thinking even remotely clearly through the overwhelming damage they had been dealt, she called Sara's name several times before getting an answer.

"Run. You and Roy need to get out of here before they discover I deactivated the bombs at the back of the building. The landmines are above ground you should be able to see them and not blow yourselves to kingdom come. There's a car three blocks from here, you'll find the keys in a false brick in the wall next to it. Get to the Foundry and try not to die." She squeaked the last part, her hand running through Oliver's hair without thinking. She and Diggle had laughed at Oliver the year before when he'd said they needed the car for emergencies, but now she knew she'd be sure and take back every joke she made about Fast and Furious. Diggle grabbed hold of her wandering hand before she looked at him, white as could be, but trying to stay calm for them…for Oliver.

"Yes…mom." Roy groaned reaching his feet, though he limped with a serious wince he couldn't hide. He hauled Sara to her feet before she swayed and Felicity called her name worriedly. Roy didn't wait to be told, putting his arms underneath the woman's knees and shoulders. Sara made a weak attempt to both laugh and scoff as Roy limped away from Felicity's sight.

"Dig…" She whispered in absolute fear as she looked down at Oliver, her eyes having raked over Diggle for any gaping wounds, having found none. Itched to check Oliver's heartbeat, but she didn't dare take her hand out of Diggle's in absolute fear of what she would find.

"Felicity, listen to me. You know which bombs you detonated, yes I can put two and two together we don't have time for questions right now. Go to Lance. Tell him which way is safe, he needs a hospital, and fast." Diggle tried to order her, deciding into a coughing fit for his trouble.

"Dig…" She whispered, letting go of his hand to grab his upper arm, letting go when he winced.

"Felicity, NOW!" Dig yelled, in what she recognized as her own 'loud voice'. She took a longing look at the unconscious man in her lap before wiggling herself away, her eyes blurring with unshed tears. She did not look at the dead body of Slade, turning her head away as she broke into the closest she could get to a run.

"Detective!" She called, maneuvering her way through a crater and tons of sharp debris. It didn't matter to her that he wasn't a detective anymore, it was how she thought of him, and she screamed it several times. The siren's had faded, though the red and blue lights nearly blinded her.

"Ms. Smoak!" Lance finally called back after several long and desperate calls. He wrapped his arms around her before she managed to open her mouth, and while she appreciated his affection, she pushed herself away from him hurriedly.

"Ambulance! Now. Oliver. Dig. I blew up it up." She stuttered, the words making sense in her mind at least. It took Lance a moment to put together what she'd said, but as they were surrounded by blurry outlines of people, he put it together. He was screaming out orders like he had the authority to do so, even though she suspected he didn't. She led him to the path she'd used through the explosives, but he held her back from re-entering. She found herself being shoved onto a stretcher, even as she fought off the hands reaching for her. She even put Dig's self-defense to use, something she'd regret later since injuring a paramedic wasn't the greatest idea when they were trying to help, but she only had eyes for the figures of Dig and Oliver. When Oliver was wheeled past her she let Lance push her onto a stretcher, the ambulance rushing away in a flash. The adrenaline in her system was crashing and she knew she was scrambling to stay awake, but she didn't think even she could dream about Thea Queen grabbing her hand or riding to the hospital with her before she lost consciousness.


	2. Diggle's Biggest Regret

_A/N: So... I was hoping to just kind of get that battle out of my head and leave it there, but I caved. It just spawned more thoughts about the aftermath for me. It never fails, I promise myself it will just be a one-shot and it spirals because...well come on it's Arrow how can you not love that show?_

"Don't. Dig, don't move." Felicity rushed to order the man when he let out a moan, telling her he was awake. She rushed from the hard plastic chair she'd occupied far longer than she cared to admit. Diggle simply let out another groan, moving his head in her direction, wondering why in the world he was on his stomach. An attempt to push himself up onto his hands was all the answer he needed as he fell back into the hospital bed with another groan of pain. Nearly every muscle he tried to move protested in some various form and he knew at least he was still alive.

"No, gee, don't listen to Felicity, it isn't like I'm not staring at the second degree burns over like all of you…well, technically I'm not 'cause you have all this gauze and some really shiny silver looking stuff underneath that the doctor said would take the sting out and help heal…and wow you probably don't need me telling you you're injured…I'll just…Lyla had to go in to Argus, but you know she was here and all…whole Death stroke thing…and yeah…but I mean she was here…just in case you were wondering what I was doing here…at your bedside and not…well Lyla…I'm shutting up now." Felicity rambled while Diggle simply raised his eyes in the direction of the sound, questions he hadn't thought to even ask yet, answered. He squeezed her hand on reflex when after a moment of silence where he couldn't quite see her, she stepped into his view. Diggle had to blink several times, just now hearing the steady beeping of the heart monitor as he shook off the painkiller haze.

"You okay?" He muttered after a minute, his mouth dry causing his voice to sound unsteady even to his own ears. Felicity frowned, seeming to hear the same thing. He was slightly embarrassed when she fumbled for the small cup on the tray next to his beside. She placed the straw next to his mouth, neither speaking as he took a few long drinks. He moved his mouth away after a couple sips, but Felicity simply gave him a look until he finished the cup. She sighed, putting the empty paper back onto the tray. When she dragged the chair to his eye line he watched her carefully. Her left arm was in a sling hidden away from his view. She had a small, but glaringly white square of gauze tapped across her throat. She smothered the butterfly bandage on her right temple self-consciously when she noticed his staring.

"It's…not really as bad as I guess… you know it could have been. Um…" Felicity refused to meet his eyes just then and a pain of another sort weighed heavy in Diggle's chest, a dread taking root. This was not the first time Team Arrow, and no matter how Oliver protested it was their name, had been hurt. It was just the first he'd woken up in the hospital instead of the Foundry. He noted the absence of anyone else in the small room. He knew the risks of what they did, but Slade…was Slade. A masterful killing machine injected with a world class steroid of epic proportions. He was lucky to be alive at all. He looked her over more completely, trying to see if what she wasn't saying was about her or she simply didn't know how to tell him they'd lost their family. When he realized she was wearing Oliver's gray hoodie from the Foundry he couldn't stop himself from asking.

"Oliver?" The question came out stronger than he felt; the painkiller's being more fully warded away by the sudden rushing in his ears.

"Huh? Oh…he…he's still asleep…but you know him." Felicity winced, and the tears in her eyes told him all he needed to know. Asleep…Felicity had only ever described someone like that once; Barry Allen. Oliver was in a coma. He tried to reassure himself that meant the man was at least alive, but it did little for him. He closed his eyes against the sting of tears he refused to shed, but he was visibly upset enough for Felicity to shift forward with a tiny sob. Her forehead landed on his shoulder as light as any touch he'd ever felt. The pain be damned, Diggle pulled his right arm up from his side, sucking in a breath through clenched teeth. He felt stitches across his upper arm burn against the strain, but he let his hand drop to the back of Felicity's head before shifting downward. Her face buried in his neck now, Diggle held her the best he was able as she cried where he couldn't. Her shoulder's shook with the force of her sobs as he unconsciously began running his fingers through her hair.

"What do the doctor's say?" He finally asked, minutes seeming to stretch into hours of silence.

"They think…" Felicity sighed, seeming to be out of tears simply because of exhaustion. "…They think…" She tried again, raising her head from him, meeting his eyes. It was quick, but the man felt his gut tighten at the bravery he saw there. "…They think it is just his body trying to recuperate. It's…been two days so they don't know much…His mother is with him…and Thea…but he's…" Felicity took a sharp breath before exhaling loudly.

"He's under police watch. They can't really arrest him…I mean come on what would they charge him on? Knowing how to fight isn't illegal last time I checked, and you and Sara had the stroke of genius to have Roy wear his suit, and it's not like there is some law saying he had to tell the world what happened on the island or about the Mirakuru. I mean they talked about the whole, confessing to murder thing…if you can even call it that, and Laurel's been well, lawyering, for him cause the way the camera's caught it he was only talking about saving Shado, and…" She started before Diggle raised his eyebrow in her direction. The ramble if anything brought on a small sense of relief for the worry constricting his heart. When she counted down from three he managed a small smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Okay, just Lance said he'd come get me when they got through all the red tape about…seeing him…but you're two guards let me in, actually sorta nice guys, but quiet. A lot like Oliver I guess…They're Argus agents according to Lyla… she let me…the ones on Oliver to for right now, but there is like a swarm of both police and Argus surrounding his room…Thea actually sought me out yesterday to…tell me what was going on…they had to do surgery to try to…save his arm… and other…I couldn't take it all in I just… it's still kinda weird given I've never actually spent any time talking to her and all…"

"Felicity…Roy and Sara?" He winced, trying to sit up a little more to look to his other side, a door separating him from seeing anything of the Argus agents, the room barely big enough for he and Felicity to be comfortable as it was. He couldn't bring himself to listen to the pain in the woman's voice. He grounded himself in the knowledge that Oliver was at least alive, he could deal with the particulars later; right now he just needed to know the same about the other two members of their team. When she winced that fear started creeping up on him again, but she seemed to see he thought the worst when she hurried to continue.

"No, oh god Dig, no their okay…just not really okay I guess if you…" Felicity continued to ramble, and Diggle wondered if she wasn't suffering from a concussion as well as her arm since one babble was common place, but her entire explanation? Felicity took a deep breath, letting out a huff of annoyance before she clenched her fist tightly, the thought apparently broadcast across his face. She took a few deep breaths as Diggle watched before she grabbed hold of his right arm. He let out a hiss as she apologized, moving it to lie limp beside him once more.

"Sara was too badly hurt for Roy to patch up. Oliver would be proud of him though, well kinda. He took Sara to the emergency room when he couldn't stop the bleeding in her side, I guess Slade caught her with his sword or something…but he made up this story about the Arrow's sidekick saving her from Slade's men. He was blushing so bad when he told me…" The small laugh from the pale woman even had Diggle's lips twitching, because he could imagine the look on the younger man's face when he had to remove the Canary's suit to fit the story. Sara was undoubtedly going to tease the man endlessly if she made it through this. "…anyway, the police bought it…Oliver will kill him though."

"Why's that?" Diggle asked, glad she was not referring to their friend in the past tense. He wanted to reach out and comfort her again, but his muscles refused, still burning from the last movement.

"His new red hoodie wearing sidekicks, kickass name?" Felicity couldn't help but smile a little wider and despite knowing it had to be bad he couldn't help smiling a little more genuine.

"Yeah?"

"Speedy." She deadpanned, only a second of silence lingering before Diggle laughed hard enough to stretch the tender skin of his shoulders and back, a tingle occupying the sting most likely from the burn cream.

"He says it's because he wanted to tell her about Barry waking up and all that, but he couldn't without bringing her into Team Arrow and all, but she caught him at Verdant, grabbing alcohol to knock out Sara before taking her in…still don't know how we never got around to showing him where the aspirins are… but he was black and blue all over so he really didn't have a choice but to bring her into the Foundry. She drove them to the hospital where Roy, in red hoodie, turned her over and it slipped out."

"Oliver is going to kill him." Diggle couldn't help but laugh despite the immense danger the kid had just put one Thea Queen in. Though he remembered after a moment what Roy had let slip when they all thought they were gonna die anyway. Oliver had never wanted to think about bringing Thea into their dangerous lifestyle, but Diggle knew Roy had been slowly coming to the decision to go against him anyway. Diggle had a small, sobering thought about the likelihood of Thea having been in Felicity's place.

"If he wakes up…" Felicity whispered, all humor gone in an instant as she seemed to have a few sobering thoughts of her own. Diggle twitched to reach out to her again but she shook her head violently, glaring meaningfully back at him.

"Sara?"

"She had some internal bleeding. I wasn't awake but Detec…Officer Lance said the doctors took her into surgery and they think they stopped it. She hasn't woken up yet either, but they think she'll make a full recovery. Apparently Thea set a couple of bones in Roy's arm…rather viciously by the way he tells it, but he's healing." A small smile graced the woman's face again, the pair shuffling from despair and laughter so quickly it almost gave them both whiplash, but they had been on this roller-coaster so long, they knew how it went. They knew they needed to take whatever they could get, hope an elusive thing these days.

"We didn't lose anyone…maybe…" She whispered again after silence seeped into the room once more.

"Felicity…" He sighed, for once at a loss as to how to comfort her. If he wasn't practically tied to the hospital bed by the pain of movement he'd have swallowed her in a hug by now, and not let go until she believed Oliver would be okay.

"With…everything going on, they pushed my arm 'till this afternoon. Technically I'm supposed to be in the bed next door…but you know me, can't do what I'm told right?" She attempted a smile that did not reach her eyes. He flashed back to the first few rapid explosions around Slade quickly. He could have sworn he still heard the ringing in his ears, and saw the look on Oliver's face, the man's focus where he knew he would have found Felicity. Diggle studied her long and hard before asking.

"How bad is it?" He let his eyes sweep down to the blue sling, spotting a bit of black plastic where skin should have been.

"Couple pins…I'll be hacking Argus in no time." She tried to joke. She didn't have the heart to tell him Slade had shattered her joint, heavy doses of 'aspirins' keeping her from being much the same position of Dig. Diggle opened his mouth to comment, but Felicity simply shook her head, her ponytail whipping around to hit the edge of her glasses. "So…Roy might have said something about letting you call Lyla when you woke up. Not sure what he was talking about 'cause he didn't really say anything else, I mean Thea is pretty shell shocked and worried and everything. I mean they won't let him sit with her either, so he's just been hanging out with me, but anyway. Here." Felicity tilted her head, reaching into her pocket, bringing her phone to his view. He gave her a quick look to let her know he was not letting go without explaining just how badly she was hurt before he let her put it his ear.

"Hello?" Lyla's exhausted voice soothed the ache in his chest better than anything he could be given. It was almost as if no one existed a moment except the woman on the other end of the phone. Diggle didn't think he'd ever heard something so beautiful in his life as the slight annoyance mixed with worry lacing Lyla's tone. He didn't say anything for a moment, letting it hit him she was okay, and this wouldn't be the last time they spoke to each other. He remembered fighting with her about suddenly sending Carly and his nephew to Coast City after he'd tried to bribe her to go with tickets purchased by Oliver the instant Slade had driven away from his mother's house. She'd accused him of still having feelings for Carly, even as he lay in bed with her. She'd gotten up and left his apartment furious before he'd come up with a good enough reason for his suddenly sending the rest of his family out of town. He couldn't tell her he'd sent Carly and Andy's son to be watched over by Barry. Oliver had tried to send his mother and Thea out of town as well, but neither had let him. Laurel had given in to Sara and Quentin's suggestions she visit her mother, but Diggle hadn't been able to tell Lyla that. He hadn't even told Oliver and Felicity he'd called the fledgling superhero. He finally let the last angry words left on his voicemail fall away. Felicity seemed to see the relief and ease making its way through his body when she gave him an encouraging smile.

"I'm sorry I never called this morning." He closed his eyes, listening to the tiny intake of air on the other end of the line.

"I'll let it slide…just this once though…John, what were you thinking?" She both chastised and pleaded with a gentleness he thought she reserved only for him.

"Never let a brother go into battle alone." He refused to apologize, but he knew if anyone understood that it would be his, sort of, ex-wife. She was quiet longer than he liked.

"How long did you know about Oliver Queen?"

"When he slipped me, I knew something was up…he's a good man Lyla, he didn't deserve that…and Felicity is my friend." Diggle opened one of his eyes, taking in the way the woman shifted on her feet, head turned away to give him as much privacy as she could.

"I'm meeting Carly at the airport. You sending them away is making too much sense right now John…but I'll wait…I'll wait until I can look at your face and known if you lie to me or not about Oliver Queen…for right now I'm just glad you're alright." Diggle let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"I love you." He let slip, seeing a small blush spread over Felicity's cheeks, almost making him laugh.

"I love you to John. I'll see you soon." She promised and the regret he'd had vanished from his gut. He promised himself the moment Lyla walked back into the room with him he was never letting her go again. He would tell her she was all he could think about as they all dove desperately at Slade. She'd called him five minutes after Oliver had sent off the emergency call about Felicity and not picking up that phone simply because he'd known she was going to yell had very nearly been the largest regret of his life. He'd been so worried about Felicity he hadn't thought he could fight with the woman to. He was not making that mistake again. He nodded gently at Felicity, prompting her to snap her phone back. She sat back down, placing it on her knee to turn off, bringing him back to what she had glossed over. He let himself bask in the knowledge Lyla, Carly, and his nephew would be with him soon before he opened his mouth to ask. The now comfortable silence was then interrupted by the door opening.

"Ms. Smoak. One, you should not be out of bed. Two, Mr. Harper said you were in here. Three, it's time." An elderly woman declared, the air of annoyance preceding her.

"Ah, sorry. Well, I'll see you in a bit Dig…don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, okay?" She half joked, but Diggle heard both the fear and the unease behind her voice.

"Who me?" He tried to shrug, but the pain was instant. He thought he did a good job of keeping the wince off his face, but Felicity saw it. She leaned over quickly to kiss his bruised cheek, but before Diggle could reassure her or say anything else she left with the fidgeting nurse, closing the door.


	3. Picking up the Pieces

_It was beginning to feel like every time her world crashed, she ended up here. In the Glades…looking for Roy. Racing around the house she always insisted on decorating to no avail, Thea couldn't control the tears blurring her vision. She had no idea what was happening. Her mild mannered, wouldn't raise his voice if you nearly killed yourself on Vertigo, big brother had just turned into the karate kid before her very eyes. She would give anything to be back in that restaurant, arguing with Oliver over his treatment of their mother. Anything…just like she'd give anything to be safe in Roy's arms at that moment. Screaming in frustration, Thea slammed Roy's front door behind her._

_ She'd screamed for Oliver until her lungs gave out, pulled against a building she couldn't identify to save her life. Wrapped in her mother's arms all she'd wanted was Roy, there with her. It never made sense to her, but she wasn't someone that needed an explanation for her feelings. She didn't know what she expected him to do, but all she knew was she needed him and he wasn't there. It wasn't his fault, but something inside her was telling her she needed to find him. The problem seemed to be he was nowhere for her to find! She'd been strong for her mother…strong for Walter and Oliver, but everything was crashing down on her. Riding with the woman Oliver had given his life for, and she couldn't bring herself to hope he was still alive, she'd made herself stay. Thousands of people were shoving at the police barricades at the hospital doors, flashes blinding those less experienced to where she'd had to grab hold of Felicity's stretcher to get her in the door. She'd watched her mother collapse into the arms of Walter, the man Thea considered her father for all intents and purposes. He'd reached out for her as the man she'd thought she knew was rolled away with his bodyguard, and the woman Thea barely even recognized. She imagined they'd made quite the family photo op all clinging to each other as they stumbled after Oliver and his friends._

_ But she'd seen the look on her brother's face when that mad man had held that archaic weapon to Felicity's throat. She chalked it up to one more thing she didn't really know about her brother and it hurt too much to say aloud. And really, who used swords anymore?! _

"_Men stranded on deserted islands apparently…" She chocked out under her breath as she drove Walter's car, where she didn't really know. That seemed to be a theme…and now she sounded bitter and she didn't like it at all. Wiping at the tears still lingering on her face the youngest Queen slammed on the breaks before she could literally run into the front of Verdant. This place was hers. It was her world, what she said went. Someone didn't like it they got the royal treatment, an ass meeting pavement. It wasn't until she was inside that she realized in her attempt to control what little she could, she'd run straight into Ollie's arms instead. He was everywhere. She could see him watching the television when that crazy clock guy tried to rob him. He was sitting on the stool where Sara liked to linger on her breaks He was giving her that disapproving look on the dance floor when he'd launched this place. He was even on the clock cogs on the wall since he'd taught her how to tell time when she was little. She sobbed all over again, loss crushing her all over again._

"_Not again…please….not again…" She pleaded, hitting her knees in the middle of the silent dance floor, not even bothering to turn on the lights as the sun set, dropping her in darkness. Wrapping her arms around herself she wasn't sure how long she sat there, pleading with a deity she didn't even know if she believed in for her brother's life. She couldn't go back to talking to a headstone. She didn't care if anything he said was true, or if he'd really killed that man because the explosions had blocked her view. All she could hear were his screams of pain and it seemed like it was never going to stop…_

_It took her a minute to realize the screams she was hearing weren't those of her brother. Wiping the tears frantically from her face she whipped her head around startled. Her face was pale, her hair wild from frantically pulling at her mother's arms only to be held back by both her and Walter. She jumped to her feet, suddenly scared when she heard a door slam. She stood frozen, her mind blank for the first time in what felt like forever. The rushing in her ears was only stopped when she caught sight of a left shoulder. One she knew._

"_ROY!" Thea yelled her voice raw even as she did. Bolting up from her knees as he turned around she rounded the bar before she'd even taken in his horrified expression, or his bruised and shirtless torso. When he didn't instantly wrap her up in his arms, Thea only clung tighter to him, trying to will away the feeling of Oliver's lips on her forehead. She took it all for granted, and she knew it. When he'd come home from the island she'd been so conflicted. She'd thought he changed…she just didn't know how much. Now she'd give anything to hear him call her Speedy just one more time in that soft voice he only used on those he loved. In the back of her mind she knew she was holding a small hope he would make it through this, but it was dim and she was scared to voice it._

"_Ollie…" She sobbed, thinking he hadn't heard as she started to shake. It was then he snaked his arms around her waist, but it wasn't enough for her. When he still didn't hold her like she wanted, like she craved she finally felt something other than helpless grief, overwhelming anger. Nothing was in her control, and maybe it never had been. Every person she loved had lied to her. Her mother had cheated on her father and taken part in killing 503 people. She knew Walter was flat out lying when she'd asked him what had made him divorce her mother. All there was left was Roy._

"_What the hell is…" She started to scream, tearing her arms away from him, almost giving herself whiplash before a last flicker of sunlight caught his face. "…OH MY GOD ROY WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!" She found herself switching to concern, grabbing both sides of his face in her hands, ignoring the small intake of breath he let out in pain simply because he wasn't talking. Her anger was gone so fast in the face of the black and blue marks on his skin she let her insecurities go for another time._

"_ROY!" Thea startled, her eyes going wide, jumping away from him at the woman's scream. His name echoed off the specifically designed acoustics and before she could even think about what she was doing, Thea took off at a jog. She was off balanced, having broken a heel sometime she really couldn't remember when at this point. All she could think about was that she knew that voice, and just like that she was back in the nightmare. The nightmare where Oliver could kill someone. Where everyone she loved lied to her and never cared enough to tell her the truth. Roy called her name almost desperately, but she rounded the corner. She'd come down this hall half a dozen times every day, but she stared at the open door she couldn't believe she'd never noticed until then. How often did she walk past this door and never wondered what the keypad was for. She couldn't even remember asking Oliver what it was and that thought had her leaning into the wall to steady herself, her stomach all but dropping out of her body in dread._

_ "I wanna explain…but…" Roy caught up to her, bending over with a grimace of pain to catch her eyes and hold her gaze._

_ "I CAN STILL KILL YOU!" The woman's voice tunneled up from the open doorway. Roy moved his hands as if hoping they would talk for him, two bottles of what looked like tequila in his grip._

_ "Later, I swear. I need your help. Thea can you handle this?" Roy raised his voice, fidgeting toward the door even as she threw him a blank stare. He leaned on the door jam, seeming to favor his right side, looking down into the dim light she could just make out over his shoulder before back at her. _

_ "Handle WHAT?! My brother was just murdered!" Thea screamed, shoving his chest backward, unconsciously moving them onto the metal stairway._

_ "Thea?" Sara called pitifully to the pair's right, the woman lying on a metal table slick with red. Thea's hand went straight to her mouth at the sight, not sure if she was going to cry or loose the last meal she'd eaten with her brother. Roy winced before leaving her standing there, her eyes going everywhere._

_ "He's…gonna…kill you." Sara huffed, doing her best to sit up even though Roy pushed her back down, throwing the cap off one of the bottles clear across the room. Thea watched it bounce off the most gruesome metal structure she had ever seen, a silver bar hung in between the rungs._

_ "Thea, I can't stop this bleeding." Roy called her attention away from the row of arrows behind him, a green jacket thrown over the side of the table. Tearing her eyes from it, she looked straight into Sara's, both as if they had seen a ghost._

_ "She needs a doctor." Thea whispered, before repeating it more strongly, coming to stand beside the woman she thought she knew. It was after all a theme in her life, a painful one at that. She let her eyes run down the woman before she zeroed in on a random stretch of bruising along Roy's ribs when he pressed her hands into Sara's side hurriedly. Anything, not to watch the woman die too. _

_ "We can't. People can't know about this. He…we take down bad people that would hurt you." Roy's voice rang through the haze of emotions clogging up her brain power._

_ "So…so don't tell them." Thea found herself giving in with no further encouragement even as she pressed harder into Sara's side. The tequila bottle in her mouth as if a pacifier, the younger pair were glad they couldn't hear her scream. _

_ "He said something about…" Thea nodded her head to the woman under her hands, black workout clothes seeming to only darken with red as the seconds ticked by. Sara…that was how that mad man had known Oliver. So many questions swirled to the surface of her mind, but she bit her tongue to keep from asking just then._

_ "He's gonna kill me…" Roy exhaled, even as he yanked the bottle out of the now unconscious woman's hand, a shots worth dribbling down the blondes chin. _

_ "Who?!" Thea cried in frustration, her whole life made up of questions with answers she did not like. When Roy looked her straight in the eye, unwavering in both concern and support she knew the answer, but she tried to plead with him not to tell her…this was the Arrow's place…and Verdant was Oliver's._

_ "I have 'ta tell you so much, but right now we have to get her to a hospital." Roy reached over to wrap his good arm around her, but Thea could only cast her eyes at an empty mannequin across the floor, her hands digging into Sara Lance's side. Roy moved around her, grabbing what looked like the gym bag she'd seen in his hands nearly every day for the last six months. She'd have thrown in a sarcastic comment about the fact he shed, what looked like leather pants, in front of her but Thea found herself unable to move her lips. Numbness the likes of which only Vertigo had ever given her settled over her, and for once she embraced it, even knowing Oliver wouldn't want her to. When Roy picked up Sara, she didn't even ask how he had the strength to carry her up the staircase. Roy shoved the keys for a black town car into her hands before settling in the backseat. Autopilot got them to the hospital without killing anyone._

_ "Come on Sara. I know I made all those chirping jokes when you were trying to teach me, but I swear I'll stop okay…I'll stop." Roy was mumbling when Thea pulled to a stop outside the hospital she'd taken Roy to, the one they'd shared their first kiss in. She saw Roy throw his red hood up, still cradling another woman in his lap, Sara's motionless head sitting in the side of his neck. She thought she saw a tear roll down his face before he threw open the door, leaving her alone. _

_ Where did she even start putting the pieces back together? What was more shocking at this point?! Oliver…her big brother. The man that had nicknamed her Speedy at age seven and never stopped calling her that. The man she lost to an island for five of the most influential years of her young life…had never told her the truth. Did he even know what that word meant she wondered for a second that felt like an eternity. Trying to hold onto the lie was painful, but it hurt less than thinking she'd never actually known the brother she loved, and had lost. His heart beat had stopped…and now Roy was in on keeping her in the dark._

_If she closed her eyes she could hear her mother screaming as the doctor's shocked him. It wasn't easy to will that image way, but her heart couldn't take it. She'd run for Roy's the second her mother let go. The cameras had blinded her on the way out of the emergency room door, every reporter in the hemisphere shouting questions at her. Walter had stepped up behind her as she turned in a circle, tears streaming down her face, desperate to get out of there. She could not watch him die. Not after losing him on the Gambit. Not after having gone through one funeral already. She couldn't do it. How she'd gone from desperately yanking his keys out of his hands, to sitting in front of yet another hospital she just couldn't comprehend it. She jumped when the passenger side door was jerked open. She relaxed only when Roy threw the hood from his head. They stared at each other longer than they should with the cops coming before autopilot kicked in. Roy scooped her into his arms the second they were back in the alley behind Verdant. She didn't realize the shock had taken over her until she was curled around Roy on a mattress in the basement she never knew existed nearly six hours later. _

"_I love you." The reformed purse snatcher was whispering into her hair. She wasn't sure for a moment if she'd fallen asleep or simply slipped into her own world. _

"_Don't let go." Thea half sobbed, half whispered. He was solid. He was real. He had lied to her…but he had left the door open on all the lies and not tried to hide it from her when he could have shut it in her face. It wasn't much, but it was something for her to hold onto, and she was determined to. It was more than she'd gotten from her mother, or her brother. She knew she was a mess, but the usually put together woman didn't care as Roy stroked her hair, kissing her forehead as only Oliver had ever done._

"_Nah, not gonna happen." He exhaled, and she knew it was an attempt at a joke only because she knew him so well…at least she thought she did._

"_Ollie's the Arrow." Thea whispered a steadiness to her voice even she didn't recognize._

"_Yeah…" Roy clearly hesitated, but his arms tightening around her told her he'd tell her anything she asked. It was then she realized…the pants he had on earlier._

"_The Arrow fought with my brother." She pushed herself up on her elbow, not disentangling herself from his arms, but just enough to look into his face. He was quiet but she knew it was because silent tears were stinging their way down her cheeks, her finger tracing a bruise along his jaw._

"_So did the Canary…which as far as vigilante badass names I swear she couldn't have picked a worse one. I know everything was probably taken in the League of Assassin's already, but really? The Black Canary? I think Speedy's a lot better." He rambled, her eyes widening as he trailed off, a guilty expression on his face that Thea found herself kissing away. She closed her eyes, savoring the soft touch, her thumb rubbing along his jaw line before pulling away. Roy gave her a small smile, and despite everything Thea felt a little more grounded. Her world was spinning. Her brother was lying in a hospital. The woman he'd died with was lying in a separate one. The woman he was actually willing to die for was unconscious, Oliver's best friend close by. But here he was; Roy. He was here with her…holding her steady when everyone he cared about was hurt. People he'd kept from her._

"_Felicity sit's over there. Those are her computers and god help you if you touch them. She's actually the scariest one down here, but don't tell her I said that 'cause she'd just think it was cute and hack my phone or something. I don't actually know how she and Oliver met, or him and Diggle, but I do know Sara was brought in when they got her released for the League of Assassin's, yeah it's actually a real thing…I…That guy? The one at…" Roy started filling in gaps, Thea didn't know if she was ready to have filled. He didn't need say it, and he knew it, an apology written all over his face as she bit down on a sob. Shuffling down once more, Thea pressed her face into his chest, seeking out his heartbeat, hoping to drown out the rest of existence._

"_He had this thing called Mirakuru from that island…he injected me with it when I was so obsessed with the hood last year." Thea knew she was digging her nails into Roy's back, but it didn't seem like he cared. He might have expected her to say something, but what did you say to that?! What would she ever have to say about all this when she could barely comprehend there was a ring of destruction around the once peaceful Queen's Consolidated building, somewhere she'd been just that morning to drag Oliver to lunch._

"_Oliver…he's been helping me with it…he…we wanted to protect you…I don't know like anything else that happened to him there, but I guess I don't gotta tell you he's like this human weapon, I swear sometimes I think he can just materialize. Blondie says she's thought about putting a bell around his neck, but neither one of us is brave enough to try it…There anything you wanna know?" He spoke slowly, as if he expected her to participate in the conversation. _

"_I…I can't put it all together…everything's so messed up. How did this happen?" Thea sobbed when she finally got her lips to move. She felt the tension in his shoulders, but she couldn't stop the tears._

"_I'm sorry Thea. I'm so sorry." He whispered after some time, his voice hitching._

They had stayed like that another hour before his phone had disturbed them. Her mother calling her juvenile delinquent of a boyfriend was defiantly enough of a wakeup call for Thea to know she was needed. Roy hadn't been able to get up as easily as she had, his arm at a weird angle she hadn't noticed, and if she jerked his arm harder than he expected she didn't apologize. He'd simply sucked in a breath before cursing loudly, and it had helped in the weirdest way when he did it again as she pushed the two ribs he told her to. She didn't like hurting him, but by the time they got to the hospital, Roy san's red hoodie, she'd been able to pull the best socialite polite indifference expression she could and stumble past the photographers. It had helped when Roy pulled her into his side, letting her hide her face, but she'd been working on autopilot ever since.

After a while of sitting in the too small waiting room, with too many law enforcement for Roy to be comfortable without his business with Oliver, she let her mind wander. Where did she start? That question took up most of the time she waited for Oliver to get out of surgery. She couldn't understand a lot of what her mother had tried to explain to her about what was actually wrong with Oliver over all the police milling about. She'd told Felicity just because she'd heard the woman yelling down the hallway.

"How long has he loved Felicity?" Thea blurted out without thinking, drawing her mother's attention and that of three or four blue uniforms even though she'd meant to ask only Roy. She ducked her head, continuing her staring match with the ugly yellow tile. She hadn't let go of Roy's hand, her mother and Walter sitting across from her. She was not going to dwell on the fact the divorced couple was curled up together.

"I don't actually believe I know. I had thought something of the sort might have been happening almost a year ago, but then I heard of his relationship with Ms. Lance." Walter broke the silence, his British accent a long forgotten normalcy Thea had missed far more than she cared to admit.

"I know Ms. Smoak has been in love with Oliver for that long. I asked her something similar in regards to her feelings, and she didn't deny it but I know they have a professional relationship only." Moira finally spoke, her face tear stained just as badly if not worse than Thea's, but an unnerving composure the younger desperately wished for. Even if she was able to do what needed to be done in a crisis much like the woman in question.

"Um…he and…Sara…ended a couple months ago." Roy piped up, drawing way to many eyes for comfort. He seemed to stumble with calling Sara by her name and Thea wondered if he had pet names for everyone but her. "Sara…works at the club, she knows Thea and I are together and it's easy I guess to talk to me about him. I can understand but not something I can really talk to him about and all…disapproving big brother an all." He tapered off before anyone could ask him anything else.

When Officer Lance showed up an hour later to tell them Sara had been saved by _Speedy_ the Arrow's sidekick Thea had gotten her first glance at the Mirakuru in the man she loved. It had warmed her heart to her Oliver's endearment even if it came from Officer Lance and meant more than she really had the will power to think about. Officer Lance didn't seem to have the energy to tell them more than the fact Sara would be okay, but Thea knew she focused way too much on Roy then. If she was honest with herself she knew it wasn't the first time she'd noticed, but it was the first time she hadn't been swayed by his nonchalance or dismissive attitude. When the man started to attempt a joke at what only she knew was Roy's choice of name, she heard the chair arm snap under her boyfriend's hand a moment after he took it from hers. Some part of her knew he'd chosen it for her, some way of maybe keeping her connected to Oliver if none of this worked out, but the broken wood drew everyone's attention before she could lean over and kiss him for it.

"Sorry…guess I don't know my own strength, just…that's what Oliver calls…It's not something funny." Roy sighed, turning to Thea when a lengthy silence was ended by her sobbing, Oliver's fate out of everyone's hands. Roy pulled her head onto his shoulder while Officer Lance apologized, but neither really paid him any mind. It wasn't until Oliver was out of surgery that Thea even let her mother hug her, to wrapped up in Roy's arms. She protested loudly when three police officers stepped in between her and the man literally holding her together, but eventually she was left to sit with only her mother at the bed side of a man she hurt to think she didn't know. The longer she sat there, neither woman knowing what to say, the longer she stared at the scars he'd never explained. The angles, the shapes, the red and white lines hidden under a mountain of bandages; anything to keep her eyes off the fact there was an oxygen mask over his face and his eyes would not open. He was breathing on his own. Aside from his hand that was what she held onto. Her mother seeming to do the same thing. It was two days before she tore herself away, still in the same clothes she'd worn to lunch on that god awful day. She hadn't wanted to hear what the doctor had to say. She didn't know if that made her a bad person or not very strong, but she fell into the chair of the tiny waiting room down the hall.

They had locked down that entire floor apparently. There were certainly enough cops to do it still mulling around. Neither she nor her mother had been able to watch the news. Walter had taken care of that for them, but she wondered what was being said. She knew he'd held a press conference, but not what he'd said. What had been heard? She knew she'd only heard Oliver say something about a Shado before he'd been fencing for his life. When Roy slid into the chair beside her she looked up, the few hours she'd slept sitting up in the plastic chair beside Oliver seemed to be broadcast across her face. She moved the bundle of clothes he held out to her into the chair beside her without a word.

"I know this isn't the right time or anything…but when we were…"Roy trailed off tilting his head toward a muted television at the nurse's station she hadn't even noticed. Her eyes widened in renewed fear, it just sinking in that the man in the hood was sitting next to her. "…I just wanted to show this to you. I don't expect anything! Honest! I just thought maybe if…I don't know how you feel, but if it's like the Glades this has gotta be a million times worse…Just…there is just this thing that's still here okay?" Roy stumbled, reaching into the pocket of his jeans. She thought it was odd seeing him without his favorite hoodie before a whole new panic set in at the velvet box he sat down on her knee. Her eyes widened and she gripped the arm rests of the chair, leaning as far away from the box as if it would bite her.

"You cannot seriously be..." She started to scream in a high pitched panicked tone, drawing the attention of everyone in a ten foot radius. Roy jumped, yanking the box off her knee almost as if he was hoping she hadn't seen it before shushing her.

"NO! Not now! Obviously! I just wanted…" Roy sighed, Thea still balancing on her arms, looking at him frightened about what was about to happen. She couldn't lie, she'd thought about marrying Roy many times, but not being proposed to in the middle of a hospital after having her life torn into pieces! "Look." He said more firmly, coaxing her hands from the arm rests, even if it was a serious battle of wills before she let go. Clenching her fists she let him hold her wrists. "…I just wanted you to know it's there…I'm here ya know?" He sighed, running a hand through his hair quickly before grabbing hold of her wrist again. "…I thought I wasn't gonna get the chance before." He lowered his voice, looking around at the people still seeming to linger where they were not wanted. It was a minute before Thea relaxed forward, closer to him, her heart rate dropping steadily from the attack she'd just suffered at the innocent look on her boyfriend's face.

"I don't got all the answers, but I got a lot of them. I'm gonna be here when you're ready for 'um. That…that's just there when you want it, 'k?" He blushed and if it wasn't the most adorable thing Thea had ever seen she'd have reached across them to slap the arm she'd set herself.

"I…I have to pick up the pieces first…I can't…" She found herself trying to reassure him, sagging against the weight of the world. She almost smiled when he simply shrugged his shoulders before throwing an arm around her.

"I'll just lift your purse and put it in there and you can wear it whenever." He joked, and it came out so light hearted that Thea followed him, adding a comment about his delinquent ways that hit a little too close to the truth even if they ignored it. Her heart a tiny bit lighter she let him lighten the load. She had a hundred thousand questions, but she felt reassured she'd get them this time, unlike after the earthquake in the Glades.

"Just, one question right now and then a bazillion to follow when Ollie wakes up." It was the first time she'd let herself hope for Oliver, and it didn't escape Roy, but he wisely kept that to himself.

"Yeah?"

"Did he ever do that thing he did when my mom…" Thea made a motion with her hands, making a miniature explosion at the gun of her finger. Roy raised his eyebrow at her before she rolled her eyes, leaning up to whisper in his ear.

"Roy Harper, you have failed this city." She dropped her voice, doing her best to imitate Oliver, even though her voice cracked halfway, an actual laugh bursting out of her to be followed by Roy. Sometimes you had to take the light where you could get it, and Thea was certainly starting to understand that, if not Oliver a little better. It wouldn't last. The minute she walked back into Oliver's hospital room she'd be sad again, but for just that moment maybe everything would be okay.


	4. Ghost of Secrets Past

"Sara?!" Quentin called startled from his chair at the woman's bed side, throwing the magazine he'd grabbed in the gift shop, out of pure boredom, down as he did.

"Dad?" Sara called groggily, turning her head in the direction of her father's voice. Quentin felt his gut clench at the nasty gash down the right side of her face. It would be a forever reminder, but he was just glad it had missed her eye. He didn't think he had ever been more afraid in his life then when he'd seen her fall to the ground; Slade's blade raking down her face as if to transfer his own feature to her.

"Hey, you're in the hospital okay?" He knew his voice hitched, but at that moment Dinah returned, carrying the cup of ice chips the woman had refilled every hour simply for something to do. He reached out to hold Sara's hand before he was pushed aside for her mother, shaking the small bit of anger away when his ex-wife started to fuss over their daughter. He shook his head with a tired sigh at the deep seeded resentment still lingering over her decision to live in Coast City. Making his way to the nurse's station to tell them Sara was awake, he let his focus linger on the television; a panorama of the destruction around Queen's Consolidated bringing back his worst nightmare. He knew now was not the time to ask Sara how Oliver fit into her vigilante lifestyle, but he was itching to get the truth. His curiosity was so bad he did not go back into her room until the doctors had left. He know now was not the time, but the cop in him didn't seem to want to quit.

Oliver Queen was the reason Sara was alive, and above all else that was the only reason he had spent even the little time away from his daughter that he had while she recovered. He'd been helpless to say anything, to do anything when she'd shown up, her green hooded boyfriend along to dig Oliver out of the cluster fuck no one understood even now. He called Laurel to tell her Sara was awake, neither speaking more than a few words as he watched Dinah move Sara's hair from her eyes, through a small window in the door flanked by his fellow SCPD officers. He told Laurel he was worried about her since she had yet to stop and process what had happened but as usual she disregarded him politely before hanging up, gaining a reluctant sigh from her father. When Sara's eyes met his she gave him a small smile, but it was as if he could still hear her screaming, Oliver's mixing in as the two of them had taken point against Slade. Sara's stitches pulled as she did, falling into a wince for her trouble. He wasn't an experienced fighter, hell his greatest achievement had been knocking an assassin with a right cross, but the news had broken it down for him in excruciating detail as he waited helplessly beside Sara's prone form.

The kidnapped news crews had been freed by sheer luck after Slade, the man's name burned into his mind forever, had been killed and they had discovered the Dodger holed up nearby. That had blessedly been the media's focus for at least the crucial hours following the fight. They'd been so preoccupied with themselves they hadn't started actually covering what had happened until he'd gotten the call about Sara. A call he'd both dreaded and expected. He wasn't naïve when it came to his daughters heroics, but he still had not been prepared to hear some officer he barely knew tell him she was going into surgery before he had a chance to get in the car. Dinah had been his first call, Laurel already on her way back apparently when his ex-wife had answered the call in hysterics. Turning his eyes back to the television he almost felt reality blur, dragging him back to the hell that was Sara being killed in front of him, and nothing he could do to stop it.

The conversations he watched between the four 'saviors' as the media had taken to calling them had been drowned out shortly after the fight started, but it was not quick enough for him. At least for the moment, the news reporters seemed to be bowing to public opinion of the vigilante and by extension his actions and Oliver's. The fact that the SCPD hadn't been able to put the man down after his entire precinct had opened fire on the man twice played like a broken record to support that opinion. Quentin let himself believe he'd helped Sara after all, if just a little. He could still hear the sound of the guns going off around him, nothing having ever sounded so sinister and reassuring at the same time in his entire life. In the back of his mind he worried someone would recognize his daughter's screams even if she'd kept her mask on. The explosion, 'accidently' set off by him shortly after the SCPD had organized on Slade had taken out the microphones of the news vans, but watching Sara and Oliver fight side by side was still too much for him.

"Representation for Oliver Queen in the form of his former step-father, told the world yesterday they didn't have anything to fear from Mr. Queen, and polling the general population, at least for now, the people are standing behind the young billionaire, but for how long this reporter wonders? What do we really know about Oliver Queen? His time on what was once thought a deserted island is now entirely to suspicious, and while an army of both police, government agencies, and worldwide news organizations have hunted for information to those lost years, no one has come out to say just how Oliver Queen, the playboy, the out of control bad boy, learned to take down a man called Deathstroke by anonymous sources in the government. Judging by the reactions of his family," The irritatingly blonde woman continued her monologue as the destruction was shown behind her before flashing to the now famous image of Moira Queen holding onto her daughter for dear life. The picture a still from a single camera that had been set up by Slade for the crowds' reactions in his morbid theatricality had gone viral in a matter of minutes.

Quentin sighed as he looked at his own face, dirt and debris nearly making him unrecognizable but he could remember exactly when he'd thrown his arm around both women to pull them away from the scene. Even now looking at himself he couldn't keep his heart from breaking again. It had been the second Oliver confessed to what he could only imagine. The thought of his daughter on her knees with a gun to her head still had him clenching his fists. He took a calming breath, looking through the window once more to reassure himself she was actually alive, after all it wouldn't be the first time. Dinah was hugging her, Sara soothing her mother's hair reassuringly and he turned away again, listening to the news as he waited his turn to fall apart.

"It is safe to say the Queen family was just as shocked as the rest of us. That makes, this reporter at least, wonder just what other secrets the CEO of the company still standing behind me has possibly hidden from the world. As you can see however, the people of Starling City are amazingly resilient to such things after the earthquake that leveled the Glades killing five hundred and three people. You can see what many people have taken to calling, 'The trench', behind me filled with various cards and flowers. Most for police officers that lost their lives to the still mysterious Slade Wilson, but a growing number have been left in support of Oliver Queen who is still reported to be suffering a coma from the altercation. Co-CEO of Queen Consolidated, Isabel Rochev has been out in full force, reassuring the people that the building itself is safe after both the government and local bomb squads have searched the area, the Queen family already helping to subsidize the efforts according to Walter Steele. Wait…" The reporter frowned, reaching up to her ear a moment before shifting her eyes back toward the camera.

"It appears we've just gotten word that Sara Lance, one of the women at the heart of all this has apparently woken up after having suffered what was reported as an attempted murder, only stopped by the figure calling himself, Speedy, who as previously reported has declared himself an ally of the vigilante, or the Arrow as he called him to an emergency room doctor, still holding the unconscious woman in his arms. There has been no sign of Speedy, or the Arrow since fighting erupted behind me only several days ago. As several experts have explained to us it is likely the Arrow and his mysterious masked female friend who has not been seen either, were severely injured in the altercation. The footage of which is undistinguishable in parts, the explosions that nearly added this reporter to the casualty list, taking the focus. This station would like to warn viewers that this footage should not be seen by our younger audience." The reporter nodded her head slightly before Quentin saw Oliver vaulting over the police barriers he'd helped put up after the fire alarm at Queen's Consolidated had evacuated the building to leave Slade holding Felicity Smoak hostage.

Turning his eyes from the television he looked around with a glare, knowing one of the nurses was responsible for tipping off the news that his daughter was awake. He sent a meaningful look to the men on both sides of his daughter's door. Both of whom he knew much better than their Captain that was still trying to politically save his ass with what was being touted as a police failure. It did a little good for his unease to see identical looks of both annoyance and irritation on his brother in arms faces. Quentin had honestly liked their Captain, but now he didn't care one way or another if he found himself with a new boss on Monday. Bringing the phone back to his ear he stepped away from Sara's room reluctantly, but life didn't stop because he wanted it to.

"Ms. Smoak." He greeted before she'd spoken, and even he knew she wasn't okay at the lack of chipper-ness when she did. She'd disappeared from the radar of nearly every person in Starling City after being released from the hospital the previous day, frustrating many news crews still scrambling for the tiniest details. He had a suspicion it was with the help of Mr. Diggle, who had also disappeared, and her pal the Arrow, but he knew better than to ask where their super-secret club house was, and he was under no illusions Diggle wasn't in on it. Even if he had no evidence beside the Argus agent that had been going in and out of his room when they'd transferred Sara to this hospital. "Sara's awake…how's our friend?" He chanced with a sigh, looking around in paranoia since he knew he was being watched for anything that would give some random passerby their fifteen minutes of fame.

"In pain." Felicity sighed, not telling Officer Lance she was looking at Roy and not Oliver when she said it; Diggle walking the younger man through the medical supplies to her right. There was a tension in the air that none of them seemed to know how to dissipate, but Felicity knew Sara waking up would definitely help with the guilt in Roy's expression. Thea had gone back to sitting at her brothers side, but having Thea out of his sight wasn't making coming to terms with killing someone, even Slade, easier on the young man.

"Right…you okay? You cleared outta here fast." He sighed, knowing his worry was transferring, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. Something about Felicity Smoak always brought out his fatherly instincts. She had just always seemed like she needed someone to care for her, to protect what he'd originally thought was a naïve girl being used by a dangerous vigilante. Now he wondered just how well the woman's boss looked after her. Shaking the thought from his head he didn't pry any harder when she said she was fine. Having raised two teenage daughters, he knew that tone, it meant she didn't want to talk to him about this. He said a quick goodbye before re-entering Sara's room with the doctor's reentrance. He was telling her she was lucky to be alive while Dinah cried all over again, seeming to cling to Sara as if she might vanish.

"You are very lucky, Ms. Lance. We've stopped the bleeding, and in a few days you should be good to try moving around a little, but until then you are stuck in bed I'm afraid. We'll keep you at this dose of pain meds for now, but I want to start weaning you off in a while, okay? You have any questions?" Quentin saw Sara open her mouth as if to ask one, but shook her head instead, looking over to him. Ushering the man out of the room, not even really bothering to catch his name when it was clear Sara was out of the woods; Quentin didn't know how to answer the 'how' question with Dinah in the room.

"Sara, why would you go out alone? Or not tell us there was a crazy mad man out there after you, after everything we've been through?" Dinah beat him to it, and he was reminded there was a reason he married her for a minute. The Arrow had to stay between him and his daughter by the look on her mother's face, but Sara was hopped up on painkillers Quentin could barely pronounce adding to his nervous fidget in the small space.

"I didn't mom…the Arrow he had to go to help Oliver. I asked him to. I fought but I wasn't strong enough." Sara carefully phrased her words, neither Quentin nor his daughter aware of just how much Dinah suspected. The woman had after all been kidnapped and was privy to her daughter's past in the league of assassins, but he doubted she thought Sara dressed up in a get up to fight beside the Arrow. Hell, Quentin was still having trouble coming to terms with that not a week before this all happened.

"Well, it would seem we owe that man a lot since he sent someone to look after you anyway. Do you know…Speedy?" Dinah asked the name Quentin had laughed at a few days before sounding unsure from her lips. Sara frowned, turning her eyes toward her father before he gave her the most subtle nod he could hoping she got the message.

"He's a friend of the Arrow…he's…new to town." Sara went to shrug, but a look of pain crossed her face prompting her mother to shoot up out of the seat Quentin had been occupying. Sara sighed when the pain subsided, but the entire body aching didn't seem to be dulled by the morphine cocktail running through her system. She barely remembered getting back to the Foundry, let alone how she ended up here, but since her pain was so bad she wasn't fully in the haze of the morphine to her gratitude and charge in. She could put the pieces together only because she'd spent nearly her entire life around Oliver and his family. Speedy was Thea, and Roy was all about Thea. At least that was what she assumed by the look of worry on her father's face over her mother's shoulder.

"How's Ollie?" She asked more toward her father, squeezing her mother's hand even as her voice dropped in worry since he wasn't there. Quentin took a deep breath before he started to explain the shit storm that had happened since she'd 'been injured' as he referred to it looking at the back of her mother's head. Sara tried not to let the tears fall hearing about all Oliver had suffered, the wounds she'd been beside him for and afterwards. His life was ruined and she couldn't help but believe Slade had gotten exactly what he wanted. They had all fought so hard to stop Slade, and she could still feel the handle of the knife in her hands, but in the end even in death he screwed with them. The first tear had her cursing in a fashion she'd never done in front of her mother, the salt burning in between the stiches of what would become her most distinguishable scar.

"The Arrow's apparently gonna be fine. Ms. Smoak might not use her arm fully again, but she said the elbow replacement went good, did you know they replace things other than knees? Anyway, that Mr. Diggle's fine, he's out an about himself. Your sister said she was on her way, but she's been lobbying for the Queens after they said you were gonna be fine." Quentin filled her in vaguely as he could, watching helplessly as her face fell even though she tried to hide it. Dinah seemed to see the same thing he did.

"Are they your friends too?" She asked carefully and Sara was doing good to only nod. Sara gave herself a minute to calm down at the knowledge that at least Roy, Felicity, and John would be okay. As okay as any of them were ever allowed at least since it seemed they could never catch a break.

"Knock knock." Laurel's tired voice called from the door when no one knew what to say. Sara found herself smiling without meaning to, enduring the pain in her cheekbone at the bouquet of daisy's in the woman's hands.

"Hi." Sara tried to sit up a little more, but sighed in frustration when she couldn't, her left side flaring in pain. She and Laurel had been through so much the last year she was happy to see the woman there. She wasn't proud of the fact she'd thought during her parents silence was Laurel wouldn't speak to her again for keeping this secret. Instead, it seemed she'd underestimated her big sister.

It was two hours and countless old stories they'd all told a hundred times before Sara worked up the courage to ask her parents for a minute with Laurel, who looked as uncomfortable as Sara felt. Dinah and Quentin both looked uneasy between the two, but did as she asked and left them alone. Sara found herself looking over her sister's business suit as the seconds turned into minutes of tense silence.

"Is Ollie going to jail?" She asked instead of what she wanted to. Well, that was something she wanted, but not the most pressing thing on her mind. Laurel looked startled for a second, prompting Sara to play with the blanket in her lap, her fingers the only thing that didn't hurt to move which was ironic since she'd punched Slade at least twice that she could remember.

"No, actually. For all his…insanity, the footage of the fight actually worked in Ollie's favor. It proved self-defense of a third party and himself, so there aren't any charges to press against him. The DA doesn't have any evidence supporting what Oliver said to…" Laurel seemed to hesitate before Sara sighed.

"Slade…" She supplied finding a snarl leaving her unconsciously. Laurel simply nodded, looking away from her a minute before plastering a fake smile to her face to continue. Sara didn't call her out on it simply because she was too exhausted and worried. She knew when to pick her battles; at least she thought she did.

"Yeah, him. There just isn't any evidence but the words of a mad man, and come on he had Ollie's secretary by the throat with a sword, and I mean really, a sword?" Laurel rolled her eyes and despite everything Sara laughed because it had been one of the first things she remembered thinking about Slade when she wasn't afraid anymore. Nyssa had cured her of the fear by teaching her the weapon but it had taken several deeper than shallow cuts for her to respect the weapon as deadly. Thinking about Nyssa wiped the painful smile off her face, but she gave Laurel a soft look to show her it wasn't her when she fidgeted.

"But…" Sara sighed, not willing to believe their actions had no consequences.

"But…" Laurel sighed again, pulling her chair closer to Sara's side, her big sister holding on to her hand. "…Oliver is going to catch the fall out of this. People are confused right now, they don't know who to blame. Without knowing anything about this…Slade, guy other than his name, which we only know cause he told the Dodger guy, it's going to fall on Oliver sooner or later. I…I went to Queen's Consolidated and it's like the Glades all over again and people are scared. Ollie's never said what happened…on the island and now…Ollie killed him…" Laurel shook her head as if she didn't believe what she'd just said, the most heartbroken look on her face that Sara had ever seen. She'd all but forgotten what it felt like to look at Oliver without knowing. Without knowing Shado had existed, that they'd both been forced to kill or be killed. But how did she explain that to Laurel, when she'd never been forced to make a choice like that. She didn't know and most of her didn't want to expose Laurel to that kind of truth.

"If…If…" Sara's voice hitched, squeezing Laurel's hand for the strength to say this. "If I told them, what would happen?" She asked, and if she'd felt a small piece of her heart break before, the unshed tears in Laurel's face split it in two.

"He…he really…" Laurel chocked, her hand covering her mouth as the tears fell freely now. Sara felt her eyes water again, nodding just a little which elicited a sob from her big sister. It took Sara a minute and a mumble about Shado to realize what Laurel was talking about when she herself was thinking about all the men she'd killed, and some she'd seen Oliver put down. Sara threw her eyes up at the ceiling to stop the salt from reaching her wounds, but at this point she didn't think she could. When Laurel launched herself over Sara in a desperate hug she'd longed for since coming home, she gave in. Her parents rejoined them then, prompting a family hug that did wonders for the ghosts haunting the warrior's soul, even if they could never really know the whole truth.

Neither she nor Laurel broached the topic again until two days later when a woman Sara knew was on Oliver's list briefed the world about Deathstroke and fear swept through the city. The continuous loop on the television mounted to the wall in her hospital room, which Felicity had jokingly called her hotel room on the phone that morning, was starting to drive the Canary crazy. If she had to look at Ivo's picture or Slade's one more time she thought she might get up and tear the thing from the wall, raging pain or not.

"Well, that's not a good idea." Laurel chuckled softly, opening the door to join her. Sara realized she'd thrown the television remote then when Laurel, clad in the blue suit she wore to court what seemed like a year before, picked it up and turned it off.

"They're making Ollie out to be some kind of criminal mastermind because Slade was!" Sara cried, turning her face away from Laurel so she didn't have to look at the scar that she knew bothered the woman. She'd give Laurel the time to get used to it, but right now she wasn't about to force her welcome distraction out of the room, her parents having a thousand things to do between them when she'd finally ordered them away and back to their lives.

"They're scared." Laurel sighed, flopping down in the chair her mother had hardly left once she woke up.

"That's no excuse! If they…Ollie isn't some…" Sara grunted in frustration, hearing Laurel use the word murderer, but Sara knew too much to say it herself, even if that would have hurt Oliver. After all, what did that make her?

"How is Thea? Ollie wouldn't forgive himself if his actions hurt her in some way." Sara snapped, not actually realizing what she asked until she did. If it had been anyone else she knew she'd have regretted letting that information slip, but for once she was relieved Laurel knew Oliver as well as his family at least.

"She's a wreck, she hasn't left the hospital, but that kid she's seeing, think his name's Roy, he's been like a god send. I think Moira's about to go on a war path of her own though. She was headed to Queen's Consolidated this morning. I heard a rumor Isabel was trying to force Oliver out of the company, I don't know about you but I really don't wanna be that woman right now." Laurel lowered her voice as if sharing a secret with Sara and despite the underhandedness Sara smiled the gesture a little less painful today after a localized anesthetic the night before. Even if she thought it made her look like she was having a stroke. Laurel didn't seem able to look at her fully anyway so she simply let it go as something she would have to get used to like all the other scars on her body.

"That sounds like Isabel." Sara sighed finally, her thoughts flickering to Felicity for just a second before turning her attention back to her sister. The stories of Isabel Rochev and her superior attitude had always been endless from the technical operator of Team Arrow.

"Give Moira any other target but me." Laurel picked up her hands in a surrender Sara found funny, feeling the exact same way about the woman. It was when Laurel got quiet after that, when Sara really started to worry about what she was really doing there. It wasn't that Laurel couldn't have come to simply visit her, like Sin had the day before, but something about the fact she was dressed for her brand of fighting set her off.

"What is it, Laurel?"

"Do you think you could tell them…about Ollie…and about…Slade…Ivo?" Sara took a deep breath as the heart monitor beside her went erratic a minute. Laurel's eyes were apologizing, but Sara found herself looking out the window to her right, the tops of buildings just visible even if she knew she couldn't see Queen's Consolidated from here.

"What's about to happen?"

"Someone…we don't know who…but they sent a camera crew to the island where they found Oliver." Laurel explained slowly and Sara knew she startled her when she cursed in Nyssa's native tongue, clenching her fists in pain.

"Sara?" The question in her voice almost sounded pitiful, but Sara couldn't bring herself to look at her.

"How far in land did they make it?" Sara whispered, thinking about the land mines and the other booby traps she had helped lay out against the prisoners that had tried seeking revenge on her while Oliver suffered at the hands of Slade.

"You…were there?" Laurel continued in that soft whisper, neither really wanting this conversation to be real. Instead of say it, Sara just nodded. It seemed to take all of Laurel's will power to speak after that, and Sara didn't blame her at all. She could only imagine the pain Laurel had to be going through then, not allowed to be upset yet again. Admitting it out loud, Sara almost felt as if she'd gotten on the Gambit all over again for a split second.

"They found an air strip but the Chinese government pulled them out before they'd gone far saying it was too dangerous, but a friend I made…looking for you…said the footage is pretty bad and it's Slade level bad for Oliver." Sara let that soak in, but despite what Laurel said Sara knew it could have been so much worse and she found herself a little relieved.

"Apparently they found three graves." Laurel knocked Sara's relief down just a little and the Canary closed her eyes, hoping this wasn't happening. "And one of them said…"

"Shado." Sara winched, not having actually said the name of the woman for a long while. She didn't see Laurel nod, but she didn't have to. She willed the woman's face from her memory, but Shado would not be ignored, seeming to sit on the window sill as if she were real to everyone instead of just Sara.

"Apparently…Slade put together his own…footage that is. I haven't seen it…but dad said…_someone_ had and they didn't think it was as bad as I do, some home movies of her, but with Isabel trying to unseat Oliver and Ollie not here to protect himself…It's getting ugly out there Sara. Someone attacked the Queen house last night. Mr. Diggle's men took care of it, but it's only gonna get worse. They don't know if someone was trying to rob them while no one was home or what, but people are starting to get scared of Ollie, they are calling him the next Moira." Laurel sighed. Sara didn't open her eyes, knowing she'd be having words with Felicity and Dig over not sharing this with her since there was only one _someone_ Laurel would talk about like that. Laurel and the Arrow was a whole other headache Sara wasn't ready for.

"What do you think I should do?" Sara took a long breath before she opened her eyes to stare into those of Shado's ghost. She imagined Shado leaning her head in her direction; almost as if she was considering the woman Oliver had chosen in reserved curiosity. Sara clenched her eyes shut once more as her imagination conjured the image of the woman's blood dripping from her temple, sliding down her shoulder to the floor.

"Tell them what happened. I'll put a camera here and…you can just tell me. I'll take care of it after that."

"The police asked me already." Sara confessed, having simply stared unmoving at the Chief of Police and his questions. Her father had gotten in the man's face, demanding to know if Sara was under arrest and when he'd been forced to say no, there had not been another officer in her room save her father since.

"And you didn't have to tell them, and they can't arrest you for this. I won't let them, even if they try. I still have friends on the bar, they've been filing the motions, but I've been the one dealing the law for Oliver, you really think I'd do any less, Sara? You're my sister, and I love you." Laurel declared so firmly Sara knew she started to cry behind closed lids. She felt the woman's confusion through the squeeze of her hand, but Sara didn't dare open her eyes again, to afraid Shado would still be there.

"But you won't after I tell you. You won't look at me or Ollie the same again." Sara shook her head, a sob leaving her lips against her will.

"Sara…Sara look at me…please." Laurel coaxed and Sara did, relief sinking into her when Shado was not standing behind her sister's worried expression. "…Look, I'm not stupid. I know it's bad or both of you wouldn't have acted like you hadn't seen each other since the Gambit. I'm sober now, and I'm gonna stay that way no matter what you tell me. I survived your death, and Ollie's, and Tommy's." Laurel's voice cracked, but Sara squeezed her hand hurriedly. "…I've seen what Ollie did to Slade, everybody has, and I don't know what I feel, but lies aren't gonna make it better any more. No more secrets Sara, tell us; mom, dad, me…the truth and let us deal with us." Laurel blinked, unshed tears in her eyes. Sara shook her head, no, but Laurel simply shook her head 'yes'. "Sara, you've keep this to yourself for too long. It's doing nothing but hurting you…hurting Ollie. You have got to trust me. We've seen it, since you've got back. You don't deserve to suffer for whatever it is you think you did. You don't deserve this. You don't. Let me catch you…like you did for me. It's what family does, whatever it is, you're not gonna lose us; me." Laurel sounded so sure of herself that Sara broke down crying so quickly neither had time to blink. Sara threw herself up right, pain shooting up her broken ribs instantly, but she didn't care as she swallowed Laurel in a hug as tight as she could. Sara clenched her eyes shut, still afraid she'd see Shado again, because talking about the ghosts is when they bared down on her. Laurel simply held her and despite everything, Sara felt four years old again. It was almost as if she'd scrapped her knee on the sidewalk, trying to ride a two wheeler like Laurel but not ready to take off the training wheels she'd broken off. She remembered Laurel picking her up before even her dad had gotten there, kissing her head and telling her she'd be okay. Though Sara knew if she told Laurel everything she had done since the Gambit, she would lose her and she had no doubt about that, just like Oliver had the same feeling about Thea and Moira.

"I can't lose you again." Sara confessed as Laurel untangled herself from her with a tired look, forcing the injured woman back into the bed.

"You won't. I'm stronger now, and I know where I can fall when I need it. Tell me the truth Sara, let me help you." Laurel whispered, moving a piece of her hair from the scared side of her face. Sara nodded without having to be told twice, the pain of years twisting in her gut. Maybe just this one secret wouldn't destroy them.

"Let's…" Laurel sighed, motioning toward the phone she retrieved from her pocket before she shook her head.

"No…I…I can't do this more than once, get dad…and mom. Just Ivo and Slade…just them." Sara whispered, chancing a glance back to the window where Shado was once again contemplating her. Laurel nodded, not seeming to notice Sara's staring before she left to get their parents. Sara imagined Laurel had to work up her courage again before returning with the pair, both of whom were emitting so much nervous energy it distracted Sara from her staring match with the ghost in the corner.

"You're selfish, it should have been me." Shado finally spoke to her as Sara let the rest of her family decide who would hold the camera they had found somewhere. Sara mouthed the words, 'I know' before clenching her eyes as tight as she could. She knew she was being selfish, revealing things she and Oliver hadn't needed to declare secrets they were buried that deep between them, but at what point were they just protecting themselves? She reminded herself Oliver wasn't here, and Nyssa had always lived under the assumption it was better to ask forgiveness then permission. If there was a time, and she'd never thought there would be, this was it. One secret, just his one would go out into the world. Slade had destroyed Oliver, and he might have even killed him. She'd had hope for Felicity this morning and Laurel over the last few days, but in the back of her mind she'd seen too much to think Oliver would ever wake up.

"Sara, I think we should cover that, just so people listen and don't just stare." Laurel sighed, holding a few pads of gauze in her hands nervously. Simply nodding she wasn't as bothered as she thought she should be by the bandage covering the side of her face. It almost made her feel better in the silliest way, almost something to hide behind. They were quiet for a long time, seeming to be something they did around her now before Sara raised her eyes to her father's behind the camera. They had steadied it at her eye level on a collapsible tray she didn't know where they got. Her mother was sitting to her left, Laurel to her right and Sara knew if she was going to do this she was going to have to forget they were there, to convince herself her family would still be there after this.

"This…I don't think I can do this with you two sitting here." She admitted, looking over her father's shoulder, willing herself not to be afraid of Shado standing behind him. She knew it was just her imagination, but as her family moved away she was left to fend the woman off herself. Keeping her eyes on Shado's she opened her mouth a few minutes after her dad gave her nod.

"My name is Sara Lance, and I failed Oliver Queen…and Shado…I'm the reason he is who he is. I was a stupid kid when we got on that boat. We were just stupid kids…" Sara dropped her voice, taking a deep breath as she looked down away from Shado to gather her courage. The panic settled into her stomach before she was looking into the eyes of her father instead. Her family was all that mattered anymore and it took looking around for her to realize exactly who was missing from this family gathering. From the people she needed to stand with her, and not hate her for this.

"I can't…I need…" Sara half hiccupped not sure what she was really going to say this. Quentin turned off the camera before both he and Dinah were holding her hands. Laurel stayed where she was in the corner, but Sara couldn't look at her. When she'd calmed down, Shado having disappeared for a moment from her imagination she knew why she couldn't do this and didn't have the energy to explain why or how she knew the two.

"I need Felicity and Dig. I can't do this if they don't agree. They're my friends and I can't risk…" The words 'losing them' sat on her tongue, but Laurel seemed to know what she wanted to say. Sara gave her a look when she simply pulled out her cell phone quickly. She was glad she'd bitten her tongue before she added Roy to that list, but she knew the person she really wanted wouldn't come; Nyssa. She'd broken her heart into to many pieces when she released her and Sara doubted she would care that she'd done the same to her own heart to let her go. She had no idea Laurel had Felicity's phone number, and that was something she thought she should know, but she let it go. When Laurel told her both Felicity and John were on their way to talk to her, the looks from both Quentin and Sara seemed to prompt the confession that she had run into Felicity before Sara had woken up.

"She's special to Ollie, and I know he'd have died for her, I wanted to know why." Laurel sighed as they waited.

"She is, he really loves her." Sara confessed, still a little startled after the last months how much it did not hurt to admit that.

"Did he not wanna hurt me or something?" The elder Lance sister asked, seeing the uncomfortable shift from her parents, and neither Sara nor Laurel blamed them. It wasn't like she and Laurel had ever actually sat down and discussed Oliver, let alone their relationships with him.

"Partly, but I think he just wanted to protect her…after Shado…" Sara sighed shaking her head, relieved when she didn't manufacture the ghost on command.

When Felicity and Diggle joined them Sara let Laurel tell them what she was planning on doing. They were both very quiet for far too long, but to her surprise it was actually Diggle that gave her the go ahead. If anything she'd expected it to be Felicity, whose arm was encased in dark blue plaster and protruding from a sling. Diggle wasn't walking right either she noticed, but he waved off the unspoken concern.

"Look we all know Oliver might not wake up, but if he does I wanna be able to tell him Slade didn't destroy him. Getting some of this out in the open might be good for him, close the door on a scar or two, Felicity." John argued after the woman objected and loudly. Felicity frowned, looking between Diggle and Sara, and the latter could see the way she was thinking. She admired that about Felicity. That even though she was an outsider in their world of physical violence, she understood, and she knew when she needed to listen to them even if they didn't always return the favor.

"Oliver keeps these secrets for a reason Dig! They're painful and we don't need to tell the world what happened with Slade to help him!" Felicity held her ground, Sara keeping her mouth shut, knowing she'd do what Felicity wanted simply because if there was anyone in this room that represented the man best, it was the woman that did it on a regular basis. The woman that had been in love with him for longer than Sara even knew.

She'd had her suspicions when she first came home, and that had been so long ago she felt like the world had changed since then. Whether it was professionally as his Executive Assistant or putting him in his place, Felicity Smoak was one of the few people Oliver Queen relied on…who he told at least some of the truth. Laurel stepped in to explain the situation then, but Sara turned her head to her imagination. Shado was watching Felicity and it was a whole new kind of fear for Sara. She cursed every pain killer they had given her, because letting her guard down now was not a good idea.

"Felicity…what's the point of keeping what happened with Slade a secret now? The world knows about Shado." Diggle backed up Laurel, and it was such a strange turn of events Sara almost took her eyes off Shado, almost.

"And when he wakes up and goes running back to that god forsaken island?! What then?! What's it gonna matter then because we'll still lose him." Felicity fought back, even though she knew she was out numbered, and Dig had a point. She didn't care who heard her anymore, after all they were talking about telling the world things Oliver, and even Sara hadn't been comfortable enough to tell them first.

"We went after him once, we'll do it again." John sighed, putting his hand on Felicity's uninjured shoulder, choosing to ignore the dark circles under her eyes as he looked into them.

"I'm not jumping out of another plane thank you very much." She grumbled, even though Diggle did not believe her, the Lance's continuing to watch them beyond confused even if Sara understood. Quentin's eyes widened in disbelief before anger, but he wisely chose to keep his comments to himself, reigning himself in by reminding himself he was not actually Felicity's father.

"He can blame me Felicity." John tried, causing Sara to wince and Felicity to sigh.

"No, John he's gonna blame all of us. I got myself into trouble, AGAIN." Felicity sagged, and Sara finally tore her eyes from her phantom to her friend.

"I told you it didn't matter. Slade was coming after one of us and it wasn't gonna matter if we were all together or not. Ollie loves you, he's not gonna blame you for my mistakes." Sara tilted her head to see the woman, just now noticing the difference in her vision as she all but cancelled out her actual family by putting them in the blind spot.

"Coast City…" Laurel softly gasped in the corner, but Sara didn't look in her direction simply because she didn't want to explain.

"Yes, or No." Sara asked, letting her tone of certainty fill the void. If Felicity said no, she was not doing this no matter how much she wanted to get rid of Shado's ghost, or to finally release some of the secrets carved into her body. Felicity bit her bottom lip thoughtfully before looking back and forth between Diggle and Sara, ignoring the other Lance's easier than she thought possible. But after a moment of silent tears, Felicity shook her head. Sara felt her breathing hitch, but she nodded, turning back to where her dad was loosely holding the camera.

"Dad." She knew her voice was softer than the confidence she wanted, but he gave her a look to ask if she was sure. Nodding her head, Sara felt the panic slip away this time, reassured her entire family was here for her now. Taking a deep breath she pinned Shado with a look as the woman settled behind Felicity's shoulder, telling her she was never taking enough pain killers to see her again, and that she was done harboring this guilt.

"My name is Sara Lance and I failed Oliver Queen when Anthony Ivo made him choose, me or the woman Slade Wilson loved; Shado. I was just a kid when I got on the Queen's Gambit. I wish I hadn't. I hurt my family, and I hurt Oliver...and it ruined the life I had. Oliver and I were both on board when the Gambit went down…" Sara started, keeping her eyes on Shado's phantom, a strange but almost peaceful smile lingering on the apparitions face, almost as if Sara imagined she approved. The rest of them must have thought she was staring at Felicity since they were looking between the two women. She knew she edited what she said to a ridiculous extent, but it was the best she could do. She wasn't here to tell people how she felt or how terrified she'd been. This was to tell them about Slade and Shado, and nothing else. She was prepared to take a lot of secrets to her grave, whether it would be early for keeping them or not.

"Anthony was looking for a cure for his wife. He wouldn't talk about her, but even though he didn't make me torture his prisoners, I couldn't do anything to help them when we landed on Oliver's island, looking for a drug called Mirakuru." Sara swallowed as she continued, glossing over a good eighty-five percent of the things that had happened to her in the year before she'd found Oliver again. She did not tell them about the prisoners that made it to the island, or about the screams she would sometimes hear at night, wondering if at some point Ivo would tear them from her instead.

"I don't know what happened to Oliver when we were separated, but I do know that was when he met Slade Wilson." Sara paused, taking a few deep breaths to keep Slade's ghost from joining Shado's. She had to look away to compose herself but no one interrupted her, even if she saw Laurel was holding onto her mother as she cried. "Slade was Australian Intelligence, at least that's what he told Ollie." Sara knew her voice cracked but she pushed herself to continue and not think about what Oliver would have to say about this. "They rescued me from the freighter…Ollie, Slade…and Shado. I don't know how they ended up there, and I only knew Shado for a few days, but she was…nice." Sara finished lamely, seeing the phantom almost laugh, her mind egging her on as her imagination quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Slade…was hurt…it's was really bad, but they'd found what Anthony was looking for, the Japanese soldier's and we found the submarine after that. Slade…was the one that knew how to fight. He and Shado knew how to keep us alive and…so we gave him the Mirakuru." Sara reached up unconsciously to wipe the tears out of her already stunted vision. "We…we thought it killed him." Sara shook her head trying to stay calm, and failing miserably even when those around her started to call her name trying to soothe her. She wasn't sure if she was crying for herself, Shado, or for the words coming out of her mouth. "Anthony followed us to it, and he tied us up. He put…he threw me on the ground and I…" Sara clenched her jaw against a sob, not able to look in her mother's direction or Laurel's the events having long past but becoming ten times more painful as they were made more real by her words. Instead she found herself looking at the door behind Diggle, wishing Nyssa would walk through it and hold her like she'd done in the early days of their relationship and training when she was still the scared girl she felt like at that moment.

"He put Shado next to me and he pointed the gun at us and he told Ollie to choose who lived." Sara rushed out in a single breath, clenching her eyes shut against the sobs she could now hear from the furthest corner of the room. "Ollie told him to take the Mirakuru and go." Sara continued, not daring to open her eyes even when someone started holding her clenched fist, her ribs screaming as her breathing became uneven. She reminded herself she was doing this for Oliver that everyone already knew but it didn't help. "He…" Her breathing hitched, and out of everything she'd seen since becoming a member of the league of assassins this still paled in comparison simply because she'd been helpless. "He said times up, and I thought I was going to die but Ollie jumped in between us. The next…he killed Shado." Sara sobbed, burying the good side of her face into the pillow in a pathetic attempt to stop the sound of that gun in her ears, or the echoing of Slade's scream of pain.

"Sara…hey you're okay." Quentin tried, squeezing his daughter's hand harder as she refused to look up, her heart monitor screaming in protest before he simply reached out and yanked the wires from the device, silencing the room.

"Slade found us and he killed Ivo's men, but he got away when he saw Shado." Sara forced her tongue forward, still clenching her eyes closed and refusing to look at them. She tried rocking back and forth gently, having sat herself up that morning, but it didn't seem to help as explosions roared in her ears with the sound of Slade's voice. The way he'd clung to Shado's dead body played over and over in her memory. "We buried her next to Ollie's dad." Sara shook, rushing to finish this story before she couldn't get the words out anymore.

"The freighter was supposed to be our way home. We came up with a plan, but when we freed everyone there was chaos and the boat was broken. Ivo told Slade Ollie picked who lived, we jumped in the water to swim to shore and I thought Oliver was right behind me, but Slade captured him. I thought they both went down with the freighter, I really did, but I didn't go back. It wasn't 'till I saw Ollie made it home that I knew Slade had him. I wasn't ready to come home, I thought I killed Oliver, I couldn't come home, I destroyed everything. Ollie said he killed him after I escaped the island and he'd thought I drowned. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Sara finally let herself sob, giving in to the pair of arms that wrapped themselves around her. She didn't know who to or why she was apologizing but the words came pouring out her mouth. Throwing her arms around Felicity in return, Sara finally opened her eyes to see the identical tears falling down the woman's face. Diggle had his arm around her mother and Laurel, both leaning on him to stay upright as they sobbed and her father continued to hold her hand so tight she thought he might break it for a minute. Shado was gone, and Sara wasn't sure if it was a blessing or a curse her mind had stopped playing with the ghosts' image.

Diggle was the one to stop the camera and he took it with him and Felicity as they left the Lance's to try to come to terms with the full story. Felicity tucked herself under Diggle's arm as gently as she could when the door shut; tears still falling down her face where everyone could see. She didn't seem to care as Diggle did his best to comfort her over the twisting of his own gut. When Felicity managed to pull herself together, wiping at her face in irritation after a minute, Diggle let her walk a few steps away from him. This wasn't new information for them, but something about seeing the former assassin break down did not sit well with either of them. She was after all family, and the weight of keeping this secret had been blatantly obvious as the woman struggled to tell the rest of the Lance's.

"His mom and Thea need to see that first." Felicity finally declared, smoothing a hand over her hair, the pony tail gone for now since she didn't like the unpolished look she'd managed to achieve with only one hand.

"I agree, but Roy needs to be here or Thea might run somewhere dangerous next. Brother like sister." Diggle tried, and to his credit Felicity found the corners of her lips twitching upward until John had finished telling the still guilt wracked man he was needed. With a sigh they both turned to go down the hall, predictably stopped by Argus agents before reaching his door. The police had fallen back the day before, taking their leave when Laurel had stormed into the DA's office, her head held high as if she'd still worked there the day before and demanded they stop breaking the law. Lyla was working on getting them in to see Oliver, but so far only Thea and Moira were ever allowed past that door. The agent closest knocked on the door, producing Thea quietly. Felicity felt a pang of guilt at the state of the youngest Queen given what they were about to show her. It had taken countless hours of internet watching and Laurel telling them the best way to stop the downward spiral of Oliver's reputation was to blast the truth across the air waves before they'd started but now it seemed like more torture than relief.

"Laurel asked Sara to tell the truth about Slade, and she filmed it. You should see this before it's all over the news." Felicity sighed, aching to reach out and hug the younger woman, but she resisted, shifting closer to Diggle instead. Thea gave her a blank look she'd given nearly everyone but Roy for the last week. "Roy is on his way, but you should call your mother." Felicity lowered her voice like Oliver did for her without realizing it. Thea nodded, but no one knew if it was reflex or she really understood what she'd been told.

"Let Felicity sit with Ollie." Thea ordered the agents behind her and both she and Diggle went ridged nervously.

"Ms. Queen…" The man started to argue, but the sudden switch Thea seemed to flip startled them all.

"No, my brother would want Felicity, and I need to be with my mother and there is no one else. She's family and I'm sick of this prison shit! He's not a criminal so you won't treat him like one or I'll show you and whatever agency you work for just what my family is capable of. Am I understood?" Thea narrowed her eyes to the man in front of her, and Felicity couldn't help but imagine a tiny house cat standing toe to toe with a lion. Then the comparison really wasn't fair as the man nodded. House cat one, Argus zero. Felicity wasn't sure she was ready to see Oliver like this, but Thea didn't give her a chance to think about it, grabbing her good arm before shoving her at the door. Felicity threw a quick look to Diggle, more concerned for Thea at that moment then herself but he gave her a reassuring nod before following the rampaging woman.


End file.
